If your relationships aren't going well or you're repeating unhealthy patterns, you may need to examine your relationship with perhaps the most influential man in your life - your father.
Some fathers are reliable, consistent and stable, you can rely on him, talk to him and give you a sense of security. Others may be addicted to alcohol, have various problems, be cold and withdrawn, want to be in control, or leave the family.
Either way, the father-daughter relationship is unique and vital to your well-being.
Here are five ways fathers affect their daughters' relationships—and what to do if daddy issues are affecting your relationship.
1. He supports you
Having a supportive father is key to building healthy relationships later on. A father who cares for his daughter and his wife cultivates hope and a positive outlook on romantic relationships. Observing their father's reactivity and presence helps daughters realize the need for support, trust and closeness in the relationships they will create in their lives.
A father who cares excessively and puts his children at the center of his life is problematic.
2. Physical absence of the father
The physical absence of a father hurts. When the father is not present, for whatever reason, it harms the daughter. His absence may be due to divorce, illness, imprisonment or something else. This can be intentional, but also unintentional - for example in the case of illness or death. Women who grew up with a physically absent father may be less trusting of others and more insecure. They will fear being unwanted.
3. Emotional absence
The emotional absence of a father hurts. You may see your father but feel disconnected from him. Girls who grew up with an emotionally unavailable father often choose partners who are emotionally unavailable. They feel less secure and dissatisfied in relationships. The father's emotional absence may be the result of his avoidance of attachment or some other reason.
For example, a narcissistic father will undoubtedly have a difficult relationship with his daughter due to his self-centered, critical nature and lack of empathy. You will probably choose a similar type of man who gives you a familiar feeling that seems "normal" to you. But while this may look good, it is not healthy.
4. Behavior towards your mother
The way your father treats your mother has a profound and lasting effect on you. What you observe in your parenting relationship or marriage often helps you learn what you don't want and how you don't want someone to treat you. If you have witnessed many negative interactions between your mother and father, you may fear repeating their mistakes.
5. Communication
Most fathers usually do not discuss these topics with their daughter. But dads who muster up the courage to have honest, shameless conversations—about sex, dating, love, and commitment—do their kids a tremendous favor that benefits them for life.
An unhealthy relationship with your father doesn't have to affect your relationship forever. Take responsibility for yourself and it will encourage a different outcome. You can create a healthy, safe and lasting relationship.
