All kinds of love are - simple love. And what did the ancient Greeks say about this?
There are different types of love that correspond to different aspects of our lives. All kinds of love are important to our relationships.
The ancient Greeks used six different terms to describe mutual affection and attraction, which today we simply refer to as love.
British philosopher Roman Krznaric, who researched the notions of mythological love in more detail, says that we should look back to the past, because we can learn a lot about it from the ancient peoples.
"The ancient Greeks were very sophisticated when they talked about love, they distinguished as many as six types of love," he says in his the book How Should We Live? Great Ideas from the Past for Everyday Life. In it, he describes in detail all kinds of love.
Let's look at a brief description of the Greek name for love:
1. Eros or erotic love
The first type of love in ancient Greece was called eros, after the son of the Greek goddess of love and beauty, and represented sexual desire and passion. But the Greeks did not always view it positively as we do today. Eros was actually understood as a dangerous, frightening and irrational form of love that haunts man. This kind of love meant losing control, and that's what scared the ancient Greeks. On the contrary, today in a love relationship we are looking for exactly that - how to lose our head for someone. But is it love?
2. Philia or deep friendship
The ancient Greeks valued this kind of love much more than the intimate love represented by eros. Philia meant the deep friendship that develops between brothers in arms who fought side by side on the battlefield. It's about loyalty and sacrifice to friends and sharing feelings. We can all wonder how many such close friends we have in this age of social networks, virtual friendships - technological advances.
3. Ludus or teenage love
The idea of playful love referred to affection between children or young lovers. We've all experienced it, in flirting and in the first stages of a relationship. But maybe we also experienced ludus when we sat in a bar and laughed or danced with a stranger. Those who respect social norms will probably frown upon this frivolity, but a crumb of ludus may be all we need to spice up our love lives.
4. Agape or unconditional love
This kind of love is the most radical and represents unconditional love for everyone. We give Christian love to all people, be they family members or strangers. Unfortunately, today's world is poorer in this kind of love. The level of empathy in the world has been drastically decreasing in recent decades, so it is necessary to renew our care and kindness towards strangers. We know Agape as a divine reality: love that accepts, forgives and believes in the best.
5. Pragma or long-lasting love
It is a mature love, a deep understanding of long-term married couples. Pragma nurtures compromises that help the relationship develop over time and shows patience and tolerance.
Psychoanalyst Erich Fromm he believed that we spend too much energy falling in love and that we should know better how to stay in love. Pragma is just that - the effort to give someone love, not just receive it. Since about a third of first marriages end in divorce within the first ten years, the Greeks would certainly advise them to inject a much larger dose of pragma into their relationship.
6. Philautia or self-love
The last kind of love is the one we have for ourselves. The Greeks divided it into two types. The first type is unhealthy self-love associated with narcissism, while a healthier version of self-love increased the ability to love. If you love yourself and feel confident, you will have enough love to give to others – as Aristotle said: "All friendly feelings towards others are an extension of a person's feelings towards himself."
The message of the wise Greeks is that we must nurture all varieties of love and look into its every source. “Don't just look for eros in a relationship, cultivate philia by spending more time with friends or encourage ludus by dancing the night away. Don't expect to receive all kinds of love from your partner all the time,” concludes Krznarič.
