Although therapists will approach partner problems in their own way and according to the clinical picture and personalities of the couple, there are some basic questions that can always be helpful in assessing the state of your relationship. This is important, because otherwise you can live in an unhappy relationship.
Thinking about these questions can help you clarify and evaluate your relationship, Psychology Today reports. These are the questions you ask yourself to come to your own conclusions and answer the question of whether your relationship is happy and based on a healthy foundation.
Let's look at the questions we need to answer.
1. General state: Are you happy, depressed, satisfied or worried?
What is your emotional state in your relationship? What is a perfectly normal day like for you? Are you depressed by any chance? Depression is often a sign of relationship problems.
2. Safety: Do you feel safe and can you say just about anything that comes to mind?
This should probably be question no. 1 because in many ways it is the most important element of any relationship. Do you feel safe enough to speak your mind or keep some things to yourself? Do you keep your feelings to yourself and do you blame yourself for problems instead of experiencing them as a result of your partner's reactions?
3. Fighting: Can you contain it so it doesn't cause emotional or physical problems?
Can you tell when "arguments" and bickering turn into a power struggle, who gets the last word, who is right? The occasional fight is perfectly fine and healthy in a relationship. It is about the stress caused and its level in solving problems, which should not be excessive. But the bigger issue is emotional regulation—the ability to manage strong feelings, the ability to realize that certain arguments are going nowhere.
4. Troubleshooting: Can you close things and not come back to them?
Avoiding problems is never a good recipe for a successful relationship. As well as not cooking a mule and then going back to normal life as if nothing had happened. Do you repeatedly "sweep" things under the carpet?
5. Compromises: Can you reach mutual compromises?
Can you agree on most things? Can they reach mutual compromises relatively easily?
6. The good vs. the bad: Are there enough good moments to outweigh the bad?
This is about experience. There are good times and bad times in relationships. If there are more of the better ones, it may mean that you will draw strength from them to overcome the bad ones.
7. Teamwork: Do you feel that you both work well as a team, that you both care about each other's happiness?
Are you a good team? Can you help each other without saying a word? Do you work as a team or do you each look at your own benefits?
8. Big question: Do you feel that you can be yourself, feel loved and supported in life decisions?
Maintaining your individuality is important, as is the support of your partner in your life decisions. This is one of the biggest issues in relationships.
9. Keep or change: Would you generally want to keep the relationship and the life that comes with that relationship or not? What would you change?
Do you envision a future with this person? This is perhaps the most crucial question!
