You are not the only one who has an imaginary ideal person in your head - someone who is tall, handsome, blond, slim, smart. Your person type is usually someone who embodies what you want to be or someone who is similar to your parents. If you're tired of endless dates, it might be time to change the type of person you're looking for. You don't have to forever date people who are emotionally unavailable or just looking for something casual, so in this post we reveal 5 steps to change that.
1. Learn lessons from past relationships
Make a list of the qualities that your ex-partners, dates and crushes had. You may notice that many share characteristics even if they are not physically similar.
Your boyfriend is usually someone who embodies what you want to be, popular, smart, charismatic, or someone who looks like your parents. This allows you to maintain the dynamic you are used to in your relationship with your father or mother. It may not seem like it at first, but your black, dark, black crush can be a manifestation of your emotional absent father. And your bold blonde may also be a manifestation of your emotionally cold mother.
2. Leave your comfort zone
Start a relationship or date people who usually they're not your type. Of course, this doesn't mean you should date people you're not attracted to, but you should consider giving people a chance to surprise you. Have fun with them. Consider it an experiment, because it is you meet different personalities.
3. Be persistent
Go on more than one date. You yourself must have been nervous on your first dates and maybe you didn't make a good impression, it can happen to others too. In order for Fr get the right impression on someone, you have to be willing to live with it enough time. Make it a rule to go on a few dates before rejecting someone. You'd be surprised how amazing the person in front of you can be when they're not worried.
4. Learn the difference between anxiety and attraction
Pay attention to how you feel when you think about the person you are attracted to, namely very often you can mistake anxiety for chemistry. We use the term "butterflies in the stomach" to describe what we feel and assume that this is a good thing. In reality, we will feel relaxed with the right person. So the next time you go on a date, pay attention to whether someone is making you nervous or relaxed.
5. Safety is more important than "instant chemistry"
Some people just know how to create chemistry. They are good at it, so many people feel an instant connection with them, maybe they are extremely attractive or they know how to flirt very well. Sometimes chemistry is more of an indicator that how charming or narcissistic is someone, less a sign of true connection. Dating someone who we feel a spark, it's like standing too close to a firework, exciting but dangerous. In order to find love, we should date someone who makes us feel like a fireplace, warm and safe.
