These 6 questions will reveal if they are a good match and if he is really right for you. So place them today!
When choosing a life partner, there are many options, but out of thousands of potential soul mates, how do you choose the one to be with for the rest of your life? Rebecca Hendrix, a New York-based relationship therapist, says: "We have to ask them these questions (listed below, op. p.) in order to understand their partner's preferences and get to know them on a deeper level. That's how we'll find out if he and I are a good match." With the help of other experts, Hendrix created six questions with which we can get to know our partner and ourselves better.
"How do you spend your free time?"
While this question may not seem to tell us much about the other person's relationship, it can be a tremendous guide to our compatibility. We have to make sure that we have some common ground for our joint plans on weekends and that we are ready to compromise on weekends.
"How attached are you?"
This is important so that we know how much attachment can we tolerate before it's simply "too much" for us, explains Brandy Engler, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert in Los Angeles. Some people would like to hang out only at the weekend, while others would like to hang out 24 hours a day. So if we are one person and our potential partner is another person, such a relationship could cause a lot of stress.
"What's the most interesting thing you've read lately?"
"Ask that question and you'll understand what inspires his mind," exactly Hendrix's. If it's not a book person, ask a similar question related to music, which he listened to, or on exhibition, which he visited.
"What is your sex drive?"
Engler says they are couples with different sexual desires are doomed to a difficult relationship. At the initial stage, everything may seem simple, but later on, problems can arise. A person with a lower sex drive will lag behind the other, and at the same time, there will be no satisfaction on either side.
"What's your style between the sheets?"
When you're already talking about sex, ask for more style between the sheets, says Engler. "It is good to know how a person emotionally and erotically approaches sexuality. If both partners are willing to expand their sexual experience, it could work very well." she is a convinced expert. But if they are each on their own side and don't deviate from their ways, the relationship could develop chronic frustration.
"Can I rely on this person?"
What kind of question do we have to ask ourselves here and there? And that is one of the most important. Engler says that she herself often brings it up when counseling couples. When we share life with someone, from everyday little things to major life turning points, we want to know if we can always count on that person and to make sure that this person will not transfer the entire responsibility onto our shoulders. Let's ask ourselves: will our partner be there for us even when we gain weight or get upset, will he cook us dinner when we are tired or sick? This is an area that we don't talk about enough, but after a long time in the relationship we complain because we didn't think about it and act on it in time.
