"First we form habits, then habits form us." - John Dryden
Every one of us has been in a toxic relationship at least once in our life, knowingly or unknowingly.
What's the difference? Someone recognizes a toxic relationship fairly quickly, but some people do not find themselves in such an environment and do not understand the impact such an attitude has on them. When they think that everything is beautiful and wonderful, in a way they are just lying to themselves and don't want to see the real picture. It often happens that in such a relationship they lose energy and especially themselves.
In addition to recognizing such a relationship, what matters is what you take away from such a relationship when you leave it. You learn lessons that will help you understand certain things in your next relationship, you realize what it is that you don't want to experience anymore.
But it often happens that you bring some bad habits from a toxic relationship, which you later use with another partner.
Checking your partner's phone
This can be the first element of "trauma" you bring from a toxic relationship. It often happens that in such relationships, your partner cheats on you or, out of sheer boredom, corresponds with other women in order to boost his ego and heal some complexes. They do it in front of your eyes, thinking that this way they will become macho types, but in your eyes, they are anything but that.
Because of this, mistrust and bad feelings are born in you, which can cause you to doubt your own personality and whether you are good enough. When you find yourself in a healthy relationship, try to get rid of this bad habit, because not all men are the same. Trust is an integral part of any relationship.
You feel that differences lead to arguments and unnecessary drama and a breakup
It is very important to be able to talk about anything in a healthy relationship. And it's normal to disagree sometimes, but it shouldn't be the end of the world, because they're just two different people. You should appreciate the differences, not resent them. Communication is the key to everything. You should not feel guilty for having your own opinion and thinking differently than your partner.
You think that every argument leads to the breakup of a relationship, don't believe it! Not everything is always perfect and nobody is perfect. This does not mean that every minor or major argument will lead to a breakup. Couples need to fight, invest in the relationship and respect each other. Often, a toxic relationship teaches you the opposite, but you should work to break these bad habits and make communication with your partner a priority.
You are trying to change them
This is one of the biggest and most common mistakes you make without even realizing it until you get out of the relationship. Learn that you cannot control anyone but yourself. You cannot save anyone else or feel responsible for their problems. In this attempt to save them, you often get lost. Be with someone you love just the way they are. If you have to change them in order to love them, why are you even with them?
Be open, don't play games. If you get into the story, give yourself completely to that person - all or nothing. What is half a kiss, half a hug and half love? Don't maintain half-hearted relationships, don't play games, but be open. Do not hurt others as you were hurt by the last person or any other person.
If you "measure" who called first and when, or who canceled a date, you are not on the right track
There is no measurement in a healthy relationship, anything that is negative and leads you to bad thoughts is not love. When you find that person with whom you don't even think about those bad habits from your previous relationship, you are healed of past toxic influences.
Learn to live love and don't settle for anything less than that!
