You cannot grow in toxic relationships and environments. You are stagnating. Forget about yourself. The best in you comes out when you feel relaxed and safe, when you feel valued, loved and respected.
Sometimes a change of environment can remove most of what is hurting or holding you back. You cannot heal where you were wounded. You can't find the strength to keep fighting alongside the people who betrayed you and broke your heart. You cannot feel safe and build trust in a toxic relationship and environment.
You need a change of environment. You need to get away from the people and the environment that hurt you.
If you want to heal childhood traumas, you need to move away from your parents and their surroundings. Why? So that they can no longer attack your decisions, influence you with their presence and put you in the position of a helpless child. Again and again. You need to step back. You need rest, exclusion of their presence in life.
Of course, their voices will be present in your head. Their influence is embedded in destructive programs and patterns within you. It will be easier to face them, it will be easier for you to observe yourself. It will be easier to let go of what is theirs, what you don't need and what is not part of your personality if you physically distance yourself from them.
If you are recovering from a difficult divorce and trying to mend a broken heart, you can't stay with the person who hurt and betrayed you. You cannot build self-esteem, set boundaries and love yourself next to those who betrayed, deceived, humiliated you. You can't be around those who don't care about your boundaries and feelings. You can't love yourself next to someone who doesn't love you.
Your best version is hidden and needs the right conditions, to appear. And it comes when you feel safe, loved and respected. It comes when you feel listened to, when your opinion is respected, and when you feel that someone sees, understands and supports you.
It is difficult to achieve a level of integrity where you are not affected by how someone treats you. Different people see you differently and evoke different reactions in you. Some activate your defense mechanism because they make you feel threatened, attacked or neglected. Some trigger anger, revenge, feelings you didn't even know you had - they bring out the worst in you.
Some people are your mirror, others push your triggers with their appearance, behavior, the way they address you... Observe your reactions and try to find out where they come from, what their cause is. Where does the power source come from that leads to the switches and triggers that other people hold in their hands.
Be gentle with yourself and protect yourself. You can deal with causes, patterns and programs without being constantly involved in them. You can distance yourself from everyone who has hurt you and everything that has hurt you so that you can recognize it, accept it and release your painful and uncomfortable feelings - you have the right to do that.
Surround yourself with caring, inspiring and respectful people who will help you bring out the best in you, learn and develop strength, gain self-confidence, grow and develop.
You don't need to constantly expose yourself to toxic influences and attitudes to get to the bottom of it to understand the purpose and meaning of these lessons. It is enough to have them in experience. You can choose the best for yourself and get the support, love and respect that heals your soul.
