Chuck Norris, actor and martial arts master, celebrated his 75th birthday on Martyrs' Day. There are thousands of anecdotes and jokes about his superiority, pardon the facts, and he won the status of invincible, the most skillful and strongest man in the world with many punches, or rather kicks, which he regularly shared on television screens. Let's look at the most memorable ones.
Chuck Norris and his kicks are as memorable as anything jokes, anecdotes, facts, whatever you call them, of which he is the main actor. It is probably no coincidence that his date of birth is also associated with courage and indomitability- Martyrs' Day. Anyway A Texan is considered a great philanthropist, is an ardent Christian, father of five children, but he probably lost his virginity before his father.
In his film biography, the role of Walker in the action series stands out the most The Texas Man of Law (Texas Ranger) and roles in films such as Delta Force, Lone Wolf McQuare, Missing in Action and most recently Mercenaries 2. Well, since 2005 but he is also an online phenomenon, because then a list of jokes on his account started to fill up there, which you can read right after you spin the flower of his kicks.
Chuck Norris Jokes:
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity. And twice.
- Chuck Norris once came twice.
- The Norris calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody jokes with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who knows the lyrics to the song Na Golici.
- Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
- What is Chuck Norris' Gmail address? Gmail@chucknorris.com
- Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with an orbitrek.
- If you and Chuck Norris have 5 euros, Chuck Norris has more money.
- The earth only spins because Chuck Norris doesn't mind.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris can gargle honey!
- People pray to god. God prays to Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He's waiting.
- Evolutionary theory does not exist. There is only a list of living things that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Chuck Norris is the only person who deleted the "trash" icon from the Windows desktop.
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. It's just a shame because Chuck Norris has never cried in his life.
- If you misspell the name Chuck Norris in the Google browser, it won't give you the option: "Did you mean Chuck Norris?", it will simply say "Run while you still can."
- Chuck Norris can read Braille.
- When Chuck Norris gives you the middle finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to get out alive.
- They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper. Well, it didn't work because he didn't suffer crap from anyone.
- In 1945, the Americans were deciding: should they drop the atomic bomb on Japan, or should they send Chuck Norris? They decided on a more humane option.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. Therefore, there are no traces of life there.
- Chuck Norris can store data on a plain key.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who can sneeze with his eyes open.
- Only Chuck Norris knows the last two decimal places of PI.
- Chuck Norris smokes an extinguished cigarette.
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- Chuck Norris nominated Big Brother to be evicted from the house.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who can sign the wall of sound.
- How many push-ups does Chuck Norris do? Everything!
- When Chuck Norris cuts an onion, it's not him who cries, but the onion.
- When Chuck Norris met Shakespeare, he told him: "Be or be beaten."
- God wanted to create the world in 10 days. Chuck Norris gave him 6 days.
- Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris punched a horse in the chin.
- Chuck Norris uses Mr. Muscolo as eye drops.
- Before Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars have to look left and right.
- Once Superman and Chuck Norris shook hands. The loser has to wear panties over his pants for the rest of his life.
- Chuck Norris does not sweat - he forces the air around him to "cry" and then cools himself with his tears.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who can 'touch' MC Hammer (who wrote the song U can't touch this).
- Chuck Norris speaks: ”Big Brother. You have two minutes to leave the house.”
- Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone.
- Chuck Norris isn't coming, he's already there.
- One day Chuck Norris was bitten in the leg by a cobra. After five days of severe pain, the cobra died.
- Children wear pajamas with the character of Superman. Superman wears pajamas with Chuck Norris on them.
- Chuck Norris can burn an ant with a magnifying glass, and at night.
- Chuck Norris is the only actor to win an Oscar without being nominated.
- Chuch Norris wrote in his will that if he died, he would bury himself.
- Chuck Norris has been dead for 10 years. But death does not dare to come near him to tell him this.
More about Chuck Norris:
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