Let's face it, we all sometimes 'manipulate' someone or something, but the difference between innocent and harmful manipulation is more than obvious - that's what they do to you when they manipulate you.
What are the signs that someone is manipulating you?
Manipulators flatter us a lot.
Flattery is the manipulator's favorite weapon. If he is such a kind person, how could you deny him help? Manipulators regularly use this tactic to get what they want. Pay attention if someone suddenly starts flattering you.
Manipulators want us to feel guilty.
It's not hard to manipulate someone who already feels guilty anyway. Such people are always ready to help. Be careful if you suddenly start to feel guilty. Get ready to do 'small' favors.
Manipulators 'force' us into quick emotional decisions.
All good manipulators know that quick emotional decisions are their food. If they don't give you enough time to think about something or force you to make a quick decision, they win.
Passive manipulators pretend to be helpless and stupid. They always play the victim.
Of course we want to help someone who looks innocent and helpless. They are always unhappy, and we want to shelter them and hug them. 'Victims' of this type may do this subconsciously, but that does not make them any less manipulative.
Manipulators always remind us of our promises.
"You promised me," is a common phrase we hear from manipulators, and also a phrase that will make us do what they ask of us. Even if we feel that something is not right. No one wants to be the person who doesn't keep their promises. Our answer must always be clear, because that's the only way they won't blackmail us.
Manipulators would always talk when it is least convenient.
Manipulators prefer to ask for help when we are the busiest. That's when they have a better chance of getting help, because we want to get rid of them as soon as possible. Of course, they will apologize profusely and repeatedly tell you that they are really sorry for asking you for a favor right now.
Manipulators like to talk about other people's positive experiences.
A very popular tactic of manipulators is also the phrase "Don't worry, my friend has done this many times before, and he didn't regret it." It doesn't matter if you find the thought scary, what matters is that the manipulator succeeds. And even if he has to lie for it. Always ask for tangible evidence.
How to avoid being manipulated?
- Ignore the manipulator's requests.
Pretend you didn't hear or understand them correctly. - Pay attention to how the person looks when they are explaining something to you.
Don't focus on words, focus on gestures. This will unsettle even the most experienced manipulators. - Change the topic of the conversation.
Confuse the manipulator. Pretend to agree with them at first, but then start asking them about the real meaning of their wish. - Don't give a quick answer.
Tell them you need time to think. In most cases, you will not be asked again, as the moment in question has passed.
