Who among us has not heard comments such as "mom cut" or "just like dad"? Although many of us try to form our own identity and step out of the shadow of our parents, at certain moments we perceive their gestures, voices or habits, which we somehow carry with us. But what really influences us to become like them - is it our genes, the environment we grow up in, or simply the patterns we internalize over the years? Do we become like our parents over the years?
Do we become like our parents over the years?! Genetic inheritance gives us both physical characteristics and many personality traits. Research conducted in psychology and genetics shows that genes influence personality and even behavioral patterns. dr. Robert Plomin, a leading geneticist in research on the influence of genetics on behavior, points out that genes can explain about 50 % differences in personalities between people. Plomin believes that genetics plays a very important role in the formation of our personality, which is also shown through the resemblance to our parents.
But genetics isn't everything. Even if certain personality traits are "inherited", their expression is also strongly shaped by our life experiences, especially in childhood. Renowned psychologist Jay Belsky notes that the influence of heredity is not completely solid; the environment in which the child develops can soften or strengthen hereditary influences.
Family Environment: First Steps to Personality
Growing up in a family environment, where we are constantly exposed to the habits, values and reactions of our parents, strongly shapes us. Children imitate their parents and adopt patterns of behavior from them. Parents are the first people who provide us with emotional support and structure, so their reactions, way of communicating and even patterns of problem solving become our "models" of the world.
Research conducted by the University of Michigan found that children who grow up in a more authoritative environment tend to adopt the same patterns later in life - both positive and negative. For example, if parents are conflicted or have problems with emotional expression, children are more likely to internalize these patterns and carry them into their own lives. Do we become like our parents over the years?!
Psychological mechanisms: Why do we imitate?
One of the main psychological factors contributing to parental resemblance is attachment theory. Psychiatrist and researcher John Bowlby developed the theory that children develop basic patterns of trust, security and responsiveness through early relationships. These early attachment patterns are formed through relationships with parents or caregivers, and often carry over into our adult relationships.
Interesting research published in the journal Psychological Science, but points to the phenomenon ti of social learning. Developed by Albert Bandura, this theory emphasizes the importance of imitation. Parents are the closest "models" in our childhood, so it is not surprising that children often imitate both positive and negative aspects of their behavior.
Can we break family patterns?
Although many of us resemble our parents in certain ways (or become like our parents over the years), we always have the ability to become aware of these patterns and transform them if necessary. Today, there are many ways to work on yourself - from psychotherapy to stress management techniques and exploring inner motivations. Self-reflection is an important step towards breaking away from family patterns that do not suit us.
Psychotherapist Dr. Sharon Martin says that it is important to become aware of how we react in stressful situations or in relationships. This is often when our internalized family patterns show up. By keeping a diary, self-reflection or treatment through therapy, we can become aware of these patterns, recognize them and, if necessary, consciously change them.
Accepting the heritage but creating your own path
In the end, we may indeed find ourselves in certain gestures that we have unconsciously adopted from our parents. Maybe we even share a similar sense of humor or way of expressing ourselves. But at the same time, we have the opportunity to decide which parts of the "family heritage" we will keep and which we will change.
Becoming "like our parents" can be an enrichment or a limitation, depending on how much we are willing to work on ourselves and become aware of who we really are. In the end, it's about the balance between what we "inherited" and what we create ourselves. In any case, the decision is in our hands - will we follow our parents, or will we create our own path.
