We all know the saying "Opposites attract", but apparently this is not the case. Scientists have investigated whether opposites attract.
Do opposites attract? The general belief is that An orderly partner will be balanced with another who does not care too much about order. He listens to classical music, she listens to punk. He likes to be neat, she not so much. He shy, she talkative. In the beginning of a relationship, opposites can attract. The differences are exciting. At first, the saying “opposites attract” seems to be true. But in the course of the relationship, over months and years, these differences can become obstacles and cause conflicts. Especially when it comes to different points of view and values.
Photo: Unsplash/Roberto NicksonDo opposites attract?
It is believed that people with very different qualities, experiences and personalities are attracted to each other. The first proponent of this thesis was the sociologist Robert Francis Winch, who studied couples in the 1950s. He highlighted the idea that we are all looking for qualities that we lack, and that the ideal couple is one whose qualities complement each other. This means that an introverted person would choose a more extroverted partner. Perhaps to become more open, more sociable.
Opposites attract has become a kind of mantra of the modern world. In some cases, of course, it is the pure truth, probably every one of us knows an example. Variety is the spice of life, and our brain simply loves novelty.
Photo: Unsplash/Everton VillaWhat does science say?
Indeed, recent research has shown that similarity is more attractive. At least in the long run. We are supposed to be attracted to people who are similar to us, with whom we share interests and characteristics. A recent study found that on average, partners share almost 90 percent of their characteristics in common. From religiosity and political ideology to lifestyle factors. The study participants were similar, down to drinking the same amount of water as their partner and spending the same amount of time on the computer. They were generally similar in age, ethnicity, education, income level and, most importantly, shared similar core beliefs and values.
Photo: Unsplash/Octavio FossattiAccording to this research, we are attracted to people who are similar to us. Similarity is also said to be an indicator of the long-term success of the relationship. People who are similar tend to agree on many things. While opposites repel, at least as far as life views, values and temperament are concerned. So why is the outdated belief that opposites attract still so prevalent? This is because opposites can certainly attract, but that attraction is often short-lived. Especially if the couple does not share similar values.
