Everything happens for a reason.
It had to happen that way. I didn't know that was our last conversation. Now I know I didn't need your words anymore. I saw you for who you really are, and in a way I was glad to finally meet you.
You were a good man, I don't think you meant to hurt me. It wasn't your fault that I was already hurt when we met. You awakened a forgotten passion in me. And she made me confused.
Before you disappeared, I thought you were a lost piece of my heart. Part of my soul. Someone who is who I am. My thoughts assumed an untrue reality. Hope for you drew scars, longing and pain in my heart. Perhaps you too have felt such a separation?
I look back to the past. Into the words you wrote. All the stories you told and the promises you made. I remember your every word. Silence. Now I see it all differently. From a different perspective.
You didn't ask me to come into your life and maybe I shouldn't knock on your closed door. I thought I could help you by listening and being there for you. I would do anything just to make you laugh. Tell me, did I make you laugh at least a little?
I believed every word you said. I forgave you for everything you did to me unknowingly, words, actions that hurt my heart. Piece by piece. I would forgive you. I would forgive you if you answered. You didn't.
I don't think you ever lied to me, you just stopped communicating. Thousands of questions and waiting for your response put me in a strange state. I tried hard to convince myself that I was fine.
I was good in a way because I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be with you even when you weren't with me anymore. I was part of you in the messages. I was like you - stupid.
I was thinking why don't you forgive me. I wanted to talk. I finally had the right questions. But you weren't there. You didn't get back to me. Thanks for confirming my thoughts.
You woke me up from my delusion. My vision was suddenly crystal clear and I began to see things as they were. My life went backwards. Now I saw you and listened to your words, as they really were and not the words I wanted to hear. You weren't the same man who drew castles in my dreams, nor the one I had in mind.
You were a real person and I finally understood that. You had a life I didn't know and you didn't know mine either.
I know you cared about me, but not in the way I hoped you did. It's not your fault. It's not even mine. I let you too close to my heart. And I didn't notice that you didn't need me at all. You had other women. I knew, but I believed in some illusion of naive love.
You probably didn't even notice that I disappeared. Not relevant. He forgets those words. You owe me nothing, nothing, not even a conclusion.
I was left with a sense of peace that one feels by accepting reality as it is. This is the gift you gave me. Thank you.
I realized that no one is perfect, that I can still fall. I'm falling in love. I dance to the moon and back and dream on the clouds. I'm happy, also because of you. Thank you.
