It's perfectly normal to feel pain after a relationship has ended, whether it's a friendship or a partnership, even if you were the one who made the decision to end it. Often, guilt is present in addition to sadness. How to face it and overcome it?
Making the decision to end a relationship is not easy. But it's even harder when he starts attacking you guilt. That is why we have prepared 5 steps for you to get rid of such feelings.
1. Allow yourself to feel
Sometimes from we run away from negative emotions. We are afraid that the pain would be too much, so we take the easy way out and avoid it altogether and distract ourselves with whatever is available. However, this does not resolve anything and it will come to light sooner or later, often exactly when you least want it. That's why it's important to allow yourself to be sad, angry, and feel guilty. Let the tears flow, hit the pillow, confide in those closest to you. This is the first and very important step of recovery.
Allow yourself to feel Photo: Yuri Levin / Unsplash2. Figure out why exactly you feel guilty
Do you know that your decision has hurt your partner? Are you afraid that your ex-girlfriend will no longer have anyone she can confide in? It is important that we understand the causes of our emotions, because that's the only way we can begin to overcome them.
3. Focus on the reasons you ended the relationship
Instead of letting guilt drive you to reconnect, remember why did you stop them in the first place. Here it is important to not doubt yourself – you must have had a good reason to leave. Distrust, toxicity, betrayal, different worldviews and interests for the future, and many others are there perfectly valid reasons, that person is no longer in your life.
4. Realize that you come first
Feeling the pain of another means that you are a very compassionate person, which is definitely worthy of respect. However, you should be aware that it is everyone is responsible for their own happiness. If you felt that the person was harming you and arousing more negative than positive emotions in you, it is quite right to end the relationship. You come first and you deserve to be surrounded by people, who value and respect you and that make you feel good.
You come first Photo: Cristin Noelle / Unsplash5. Remember that it's always better to be with someone who actually wants to be with you
Imagine that the two roles are reversed. Would you prefer your partner to stay with you only because because we would feel sorry for him? To literally force himself into a relationship? Of course the answer is negative. With your departure, you will be a person gave her a chance to meet someone who would want a relationship with her. This means that you are breaking up with her benefited and not vice versa.
