How do people express love? What is the language of love and how can understanding it help in partner relationships?
Chapman author of the book 5 Love Languages, says: “What makes one person feel loved is not always the same as what a partner feels or wants. I discovered that each person understands and receives love in a specific language, specifically one of five. The other four are just as important and offer other ways to express love.”
Depending on our individual personality types, we may feel loved in a different way than our partners.
Understanding and decoding these different ways of showing love will help you take the guesswork out of your partner's expectations and needs.
1. Words of affirmation
People with words of affirmation as their love language appreciate verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent compliments, words of love and appreciation, verbal encouragement, and frequent digital communication such as texting and sharing on social media.
Verbal compliments don't have to be complicated; the shortest and simplest compliments can be the most effective. Let's say:
“You look amazing in that dress!”
"You look beautiful today!"
Words mean a lot when your partner speaks this love language. Compliments are very important to him. On the other hand, negative or insulting comments can really hurt him and he may take longer to let go of them than other people.
2. Actions
Actions speak louder than words. This love language is expressed by doing things that you know your partner would want. For example, cooking their favorite meal, doing laundry, inviting friends over for dinner.
Actions require some thought, time and effort. All these things should be done with positivity and with your partner's ultimate happiness in mind, which counts as an expression of love for him. Action means everything to them.
3. Gifts
This is not a materialistic love language, but means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your partner feel loved and appreciated.
Gift giving is a simple love language, because speaking this love language makes you feel loved. Visual symbols of love mean everything to people of this type. It is not the monetary value, but the symbolic thought behind the object. People with this style recognize and appreciate the gift-giving process.
When you receive a gift, you feel loved. The gift itself is nice, but what really matters is the thought behind it. The best gifts are meaningful or surprise gifts.
4. Quality time
Nowadays, we are so immersed in the virtual world that we often forget what it's like to live in the real world. It is important to actually allow our partners quality time without any distraction. If it's your partner's primary language, you should focus on it during this time together without any distractions. It makes sense if you make time for them, make them your priority.
Time is precious and it's important to soak up every second of your time together. When you're around your partner, you feel content and happy, even if you're not actually doing anything. It is important that you are together.
5. Physical touch
A hug works wonders! If you are someone who feels alive after a hug, then you know what your love language is. People with touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, hugging, and so on.
Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language. If your partner is sitting next to you, sit next to each other and touch each other. The closer the better.
While it is important to understand our love languages - we must also strive for openness, that is, to be able to accept everything that comes our way and enjoy life to the fullest. After all, could there be anything more beautiful than being loved?
