Are you in a relationship with someone who has been unfaithful? Did you give him a second chance? He may not have cheated on you, but on the person in front of you. But regardless, you probably wondered if he would repeat the act. Can a partner who was once unfaithful change and learn from his mistakes to be different, to be faithful?
If you are one of those who have been cheated on by your partner, you have a thousand and one questions running through your head. After the first shock, questions about the relationship come up. Why? What now? Do I leave him? Do I give him another chance? The reality is that your decision will depend on your current relationship.
There are some people who are better off not being in a relationship because they can't live without being constantly looking for someone to be intimate with. They don't care if they are in a relationship or not. But others are sorry, they are looking for solutions to make the relationship work again, to slowly get back to where they were with their partner. Where they trusted and respected each other.
Consider all, even small moments, circumstances when deciding whether or not to forgive him.
Change is possible
When you think that a person who has done something once will do it again, you assume that it is impossible to change. However, this is simply not true. Each year, more than 20% marriages face infidelity. Some of these will leave their partner, others will resolve the root cause of the cheating and move on with their lives together.
Solve relationship problems
In order for a person to change, it is important to find and solve the problems that led to infidelity. Maybe she craves attention, but she didn't get it from you, so she looked for it elsewhere. It's a lack of communication. People cheat for a variety of reasons. Many couples seek counseling. A trained professional helps them discover or solve problems and teach them effective communication skills.
He has to take responsibility
In order for a relationship to move beyond cheating, it is important that the partner accepts responsibility for his or her infidelity. He must tell the truth and the reasons that led to such behavior.
He may blame you for not giving him what he wanted or for disrespecting him. Remember, it's not your fault that he chose cheating to solve the problem. He is the one who cheated. If a partner takes responsibility, there is a path to healthier relationships. Those who accuse you do not belong in your life.
Pay attention to his feelings
One of the easiest ways to find out if your partner will change or not is to monitor their emotions. If he tries to have a relationship after infidelity, this is a sign that he will change. If he feels no remorse for his infidelity, he will continue to cheat without guilt.
Honesty is essential
In order for the couple to move forward, this person needs to be honest. She needs to explain why she felt the urge to cheat. How many people has she cheated on you with? Has she cheated in the past? If she can't be honest, it may be time for her to seek professional help or walk away from the relationship.
They visit a psychologist
After infidelity, both partners have to learn how to move past it. The one who cheated has to deal with his own problems and the cheated person has to learn how to move on without constant accusations and questions.
How to trust the person who cheated again?
Infidelity destroys the trust you have built up over the years. The cheated on will feel as if he will never be able to fully trust his partner again. This often leads to checking the partner's actions. This changes the dynamics of the relationship, making both of them unhappy.
Instead of checking on your partner, try to rebuild trust in the relationship. How? Communicate and be open with each other.
The person who cheated must learn to be honest, not only about their infidelity, but also about their feelings. And the cheated on person needs to be able to discuss her and his thoughts without judgement, so they can build a stronger relationship together.
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Dealing with basic emotions in both partners
Sometimes it seems that the one who has been unfaithful moves on to change more quickly than the cheated on. The fact that your person had another partner is anchored in your mind. It is difficult to get over and overcome this feeling. You feel like he's cheating on you every moment he's not with you. Your confidence has plummeted.
But in order for the two of you to continue the relationship, you also need to let go of these feelings. If you release the accumulated anger, you will learn to trust after the infidelity, if you keep it inside, sooner or later it will give birth to resentment. If you want to stay with your partner, find healthy "outbursts" for your emotions.
Don't expect it to happen quickly
It's understandable that you want to forget about it as soon as possible. You want your partner to change. You shouldn't feel betrayed every time you look at your partner. At times you will ask yourself why? Most of all, you want to leave everything - the betrayal, the pain - in the past. But, it's not that simple, it can take years, years of hard work from both partners. If you decide to go this route, make sure you're prepared for it.
Couples therapy
If you can't find a way out, seek professional help. Counselors will help you identify problems. This will be a long process that will require changes on both sides.
If you still love each other and believe that you will be able to overcome this obstacle, make an effort - communicate about every problem, no matter how small, so that problems do not become a problem, but a solution!
