"We only truly love those whom we love even in their weakness and their misery. To protect, to forgive, to comfort, this is the whole art of love." – Anatole France
Perhaps you have never been in such a situation before, so you are confused and surprised. You wonder what kind of relationship it is and what these feelings mean. You hope that the relationship will work out, that you will somehow become a stable couple, even though you are in constant drama or at a distance.
When you are in love and interested, you are dizzy with excitement and will not be able to achieve balance. If you're sick of all this and wondering how long it's going to last, it's time to sober up.
Changing passionate feelings into periods of coldness and distance is not a relationship of love. Also, love is not passion, where relationships often turn from love to hate. This intensity only exhausts and poisons.
If all you care about is the thrill and you only feel alive when you're engaged in that intensity, ride as long as you can handle that ride. But be aware that it's driving in circles and you won't get anywhere. Such a relationship cannot progress.
There are no common goals and no future, because everything you achieve, agree, understand and promise in the plus phase, in the next wave of the minus phase is no longer valid - it does not exist.
Stability means constant support and understanding, no matter what happens. The one who loves you does not let you down when you need him because he is in a minus phase. This is what the person who is obsessed with his personal problems does and does not even see you when he is overcome by his own instability, when he is attacked by personal demons. You can't count on someone to only love you sometimes. And this one sometimes doesn't usually coincide with the time you need it.
When the plus phase is happening, you think that everything is fine now, and that it will stay that way, even though experience tells you that it is only a preliminary phase, and that a cooling-off or a period of strife and hatred will follow.
If this ride is already making you dizzy and really sick, just count how many phases have changed so far. This will awaken your sanity, but it will spoil the plus phase.
When it's good, it's just another extreme of a tense story that wears you down and saps your life force. How long will you believe that you are soul mates and that you belong to each other. How long will you believe that in the end love will win and conquer all?
Until you realize that this is not love, or rather, that all this love is only yours. Its only power is to turn you from one end to the other and to push you from hope for a positive outcome back to despondency and negativity.
It's hard to get out of a hot-cold relationship, but maybe you've really had enough and you're a little scared for yourself.
Fear helps. That evolutionarily justified and positive fear that tells you to run away because you've lost every fight so far, and because you have less and less strength for it. It tells you that you are in danger and that you need to save yourself. But you still blindly believe in love. In the end, it is this faith in love that will give you the strength to escape.
You will remember to remember that you love yourself and that someone who loves you should not hate you or ignore you. He must not make you feel that you are not important to him or that he blames you for his failures.
Love will make you understand what love is not. Belief in love will take you further along the path of love. The passion is strong, the ride is crazy, and that's what keeps you worried all the time.
But love brings peace!
Be with yourself a little. Don't let anyone disturb you before you let your emotions get the better of you again. Love yourself and learn to recognize the difference between the potentials of love and the potentials of permanent worry.
