Are you ready for a big relationship milestone? But is it too early to move in together?
Deciding to move in with your partner is a big step in any relationship, but knowing when the time is right can be a challenging decision. If you move too quickly, you risk ruining your relationship before it even starts.
Deciding to move in together depends on several factors, from finances to how you deal (or not) with relationship issues.
Every couple's relationship is unique and develops at a different rate, so learning how soon is too soon to move in together is an individual matter. Usually, couples decide to live together after six months or a year of dating.
Living together offers so many advantages such as sharing household chores, sharing finances, being able to hug your loved one whenever you want and much more. It is above all compromise, respect for differences, supporting each other and willingness to improve yourself.
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5 warning signs
1. They only use the move as a way to test the strength of your relationship
You know deep down that moving in with him or her would be a bad decision because it's too early, but you're determined to do it anyway. Is your desire to test the strength of your relationship the reason you want to move in together?
If your loved one is giving you mixed signals, or if you have some underlying issues in your relationship, it's natural to begin to suspect that things are not as they seem or should be. That said, that doesn't mean you should force yourself to move in with someone just for the sake of trying out a relationship.
If you do, you'll probably be disappointed when you start seeing all those warning signs that you should have dealt with earlier.
2. You haven't had a conversation about financial goals yet
If you plan to live with a partner, financial goals should be discussed openly. If you avoid such conversations, you risk arguing with your partner in the future if you decide to live together.
Goal setting is critical to any happy relationship. Every new relationship is initially full of excitement, but also pressure. When the honeymoon phase ends, however, reality begins.
4. They haven't had their first big fight yet
When you start living with someone, you will have more fights than ever because you will spend more time together than ever before. This is perfectly healthy and even desirable. Each of them has a different approach when arguing. Some are rigid, while others are more realistic and willing to compromise.
If you still haven't had your first big fight, then you hardly know what it will look like. The last thing you need is to have to end your long-term relationship right after an argument. Both partners must be willing to admit when they are wrong and deal with things in a healthy way.
5. They use moving as a way to fix relationship problems
Usually, when one partner is willing to move in together and the other is not, the pressure level increases significantly. If your partner keeps reminding you that you should start living together and you're not really sure if it's a good idea, then they're subconsciously putting pressure on you to make a decision.
Forget for a moment what your partner wants and think about what you really want!
Would you like to move in with them? Think you're not ready for it? Or do you need more time to decide? Regardless of your answer, remember that you shouldn't move just because you feel compelled to.
Be honest with yourself and you will find the answer to the question: how soon is too soon to move in together?
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10 signs you're ready to move in with your partner
1. Have an honest discussion about your budget and finances
A lot of people avoid this conversation because it can be really uncomfortable, but living together is not all about bow ties, there are a lot of serious things that need to be discussed beforehand. One of those things is talking about your budget and finances.
Be realistic and think about whether or not living together will be possible after considering your incomes. Does your partner make more money than you? Will you share the cost?
2. You're not doing it just for finances
Are you really interested in living with your partner because you think it's the right thing to do? Do you think living together is a natural progression of your relationship? Take some time to think about all of this.
3. They had the opportunity to live together for several days
Is it a long distance person you met on social media or have you ever met them in real life? There is a big difference between the two. If you've been dating for a while, there's a good chance you've already spent some time together. For example, they come to your place or you come to their place and spend a few nights there.
How did you feel when you woke up next to them? Were you anxious about having them around, or did it just feel natural and how you should feel? A trial period of a few days is recommended before you decide to move in with someone.
You'd be surprised how much you can learn about your partner in just a short amount of time spent with them.
4. You have already traveled together
If you have already successfully traveled together, then you know how to deal with different situations and you should not worry about anything.
5. They are completely honest with each other
Honesty is the best thing. Honesty and trust are the most important things in any relationship. Think about whether you have any financial secrets such as debts and such. Or some other secret your partner should know.
If you're having trouble being honest with your partner or if you're struggling with any other relationship issues, consider seeing a relationship therapist.
6. You don't feel pressured to move in together
There are many factors that can make you feel pressured to move in together, such as the global lockdown due to the coronavirus, your finances, and other things.
If you don't feel any pressure to move in together, then that's a good sign. It means you want to do it because you think it's the right thing to do, not because you have to.
7. You had your first big fight (and survived it)
When it comes to relationships, one thing's for sure: you won't have your first fight on the first date, the second date, or even after a few weeks. You'll spend a lot of time together before you have your first big fight. And when it happens, make sure you're able to survive it and deal with it in a healthy way.
Living together means dealing with a lot of arguments on a daily (or weekly) basis, so it's good to know that it won't affect the quality of your relationship. Perhaps your partner enjoys prolonged arguments or silence, which may bother you. Do you both have healthy argumentative styles? Do you argue in a healthy or toxic way?
8. You don't sweep your relationship problems under the rug
How do you know you're ready to move in together? If you don't sweep your relationship problems under the carpet, but rather face them, then you are definitely ready to live with your partner.
Many couples think that by refusing to acknowledge their problems, they will somehow magically disappear. That never happens. If you don't address relationship problems, you're subconsciously helping them grow bigger and bigger until they explode and turn into a big toxic fight. Don't let that happen. If you are willing to be open and honest about everything, then you have nothing to worry about.
9. You talked about your future
Have you talked to your partner about your big step – moving in together? Deciding to live together is not something you decide impulsively. Before living together, you need to talk about your future and expectations for living together.
Why are you two moving in together? What does moving mean to you? What are our plans for the future? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. If you or your partner want to start living together for the wrong reasons, then it is better to talk about it in time.
10. They have a plan B
No matter how much you love each other, there is no guarantee that you will not face problems in your relationship. Relationship problems that cannot be fixed can destroy even the strongest relationships. When this happens, it's good to know you have a plan B. Talk to your partner about what would happen if things didn't work out.
Maybe you or your partner will stay in the apartment, or one of you will decide to save some money for a new one. The worst thing that could happen to you is to be stuck in the same apartment just because you have no other options due to a poor financial plan.
If you are both responsible, willing to compromise and ready to face everyday challenges instead of sweeping them under the rug, then you can be sure that moving in together is the right decision!
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