Overcome fear and find happiness! A loved one cheated on you, betrayed you, left you... Whatever happened, you are hurt, sad, and feel bad. And there's no way you can forgive them for that. It seems to you that you will never be able to love, trust, surrender again. You are afraid of being hurt again.
How to get rid of the fear of a new beginning? How to deal with the fear of another disappointment and how to find happiness?
First of all, you need to look at your past, no matter how painful it is, and analyze - why did it happen? What mistake did you make? Where did the mutual love, trust, common plans disappear?
You need to give yourself and others another chance
Your heart can only be healed by a new person who will put a smile back on your face. You think that you will never meet a person who will love you and who will not hurt you and leave you. However, you should know that there is no guarantee for this. There is no guarantee of anything. No one can claim that the new relationship will work perfectly and that they will love each other for the rest of their lives.
Give the other person a chance to get to know you. Photo: Allef Vinicius / UnspalshGive her a chance, don't put your fears on her. Don't try to control her life. You shouldn't be jealous of all her friends or the people she works with. You have to give her space, trust her. Otherwise, you will drive her away.
You have to say to yourself: "I live here and now, I don't think about the future. I feel good now and that's the most important thing. I'm giving myself the chance to enjoy it while it lasts."
Do not worry
Don't fall into the trap of looking at each subsequent relationship like the previous one. Many times, a person who has been cheated on once expects that it will happen again. If you think like that, then your next relationship might not really last long. But not because the person betrayed you, but because your constant fear, pessimism and anxiety will gradually destroy everything.
Look at new relationships as a gift of fate that you should look forward to and appreciate. This is a new experience and a new phase of your life. Let it be what it will be - it is. Try to get out of the clutches of fear. It won't help you, it will only hurt you. If you cannot do it yourself, seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.
No hasty decisions
It is normal to be afraid of a new relationship after past failures. So don't make hasty decisions, you don't need to meet someone new right away. Give yourself time. Be a little alone with yourself, get to know each other. Discover what you want and what you don't want, what your dreams are...
Don't rush into a new relationship, get to know yourself first! Photo: Allef Vinicius / UnsplashAnd if you happen to meet someone, take your time! Why should you plan a life together right away? Give yourself time and think soberly, let things develop gradually.
Be open with your partner
If you are scared, nervous, waiting for something bad to happen, your partner will definitely notice. Be frank. Tell what you are afraid of, tell your painful experiences from the past. For the person who loves you, this will be enough to understand you better and treat you more carefully. And if he doesn't understand that or simply doesn't want to understand you, then this is not the person you need in your life.
