It is not uncommon for one of the partners in a relationship to behave in a certain way, but the same thing bothers them in their partner. What to do when the same rules in the relationship do not apply to both partners?
It very often happens in partner relationships that one partner uses one rule for himself and a different rule for his partner, this is called double standards.
How to deal with them?
One partner is allowed more freedom
This is a classic case where one person goes out with friends, on business trips, has his own interests, but protests when his partner wants to do the same. Unfortunately, this seems to be more common in men. For example, your partner doesn't think there's anything wrong with you going out with him, but he'll find it unacceptable for you to go out with your company. Jealousy and insecurity are at the heart of this problem.
Rejection of sex
Somehow, it has become common that when a woman has a headache, she does not want to have sex with her husband, but when a man does not want to have sex, many women feel insecure, think that they have done something wrong, pissed off their partner... They may even accuse him of having someone else. The crux of the problem is that we think men are always in the mood for sex, and if they refuse it, something is wrong. Accept the fact that they too can be moody and tired.
Redistribution of household chores
Another classic example of double standards in a relationship is the expectation that the woman does all the housework. This stems from traditional roles that have existed for generations. When a man cooks a meal several times, he already talks about how he has turned into a chef and reproaches his wife for not being a good housewife, and when a woman cooks every day, this is something taken for granted.
There are other cases where the man takes most of the responsibility, which is also unfair. If both partners work and contribute to the household finances, they should share the household chores. The distribution is not necessarily equal, but close so that no one feels taken advantage of.
Friends of the opposite sex
The problem arises when your partner thinks that there is nothing wrong with having female friends, for example, but doubts your relationship with friends of the opposite sex, does not believe that sincere male-female friendships are possible. The problem is the lack of confidence and deep self-doubt that it transfers to you.
What can you do if this is the case in your relationship?
– Talk to your partner and ask him why he has double standards for you.
– Point out that this is unfair and harmful to the relationship.
– Ask yourself if your behavior is to blame for his insecurity.
– If you cannot resolve the situation, seek the advice of a therapist.
