A breakup usually doesn't happen all at once. It's usually not the result of an argument, although conflict can be the trigger or tipping point that leads you to that decision you've been thinking about for a long time.
Although you don't want to think about breaking up, you are aware of mixed feelings, dissatisfaction, fear, being alone, insecurity, discouragement...
You try to maintain the relationship, in a way that you do not allow, mainly out of sheer stubbornness, that what you have built or maintained does not fall apart.
You don't want to waste effort and time as if they don't matter and face the fact that this relationship is going nowhere. You don't want to find yourself back at the beginning of the journey.
If you're asking yourself the questions below, it's time to change your relationship attitude and realize that you deserve to be loved and appreciated.
Am I staying in a relationship just out of fear of being lonely?
In case you were wondering, it probably is. It is certain that you still have feelings and that over time you have become very attached to your partner and created habits, the power and importance of which should not be underestimated. However, you have also created a comfort zone out of the relationship with all the limitations and patterns that make your life miserable.
Embrace solitude as your own greatest adventure that will take your breath away, no matter how scary and exciting it is at the same time. In it you can experience something new, something different. After all, being single isn't nearly as bad as feeling lonely in a relationship.
Will my partner ever change? Can I encourage him to do this, will he change because of me?
No one can ever change another person, nor does anyone ever change for someone else. It is true that love brings about amazing changes and that people change in a loving relationship to allow and accept the influence of their partners, but they do not do this because they are asked to, but because they feel that they are growing in it.
In this way, they become better people. They do it for themselves, for their personal development. The partner is only a channel through which love acts on them. So the answers to these questions are no, no and no. Your partner can change because of love, but if it hasn't happened by now, it won't happen.
No, you can't help him or force him to change. Instead, ask yourself questions that you really need answers to. Can you accept your partner as he is? Will you stay with him even if he never changes?
Why isn't everything as it was in the beginning?
If your movie keeps going back to the early days of your relationship, when everything was great and you keep wondering why it's not like that anymore, you're in a relationship that isn't growing. You don't understand that what was before is infatuation and infatuation is gone. You are in a phase of a relationship that continues to develop, or your paths diverge.
Love is much more complex and completely different from falling in love, and the relationship in which love is put into everyday practice is the relationship of two mature people who develop and support each other. It will never be the same as before, because the concept of going back to the old ways does not exist.
Are you staying in a relationship just for the sake of intimacy?
As soon as you think it could be, something inside you knows it is. Sexuality can be a strong glue between two people, connecting them on an organic level. You can have years and years of excellent sexual relations with your partner, but in other areas, they do not function at all.
If so, you have to ask yourself, is this enough for you? Is sexuality worth all the other frustrations, disappointments, dissatisfaction, irreconcilable differences, feelings of loneliness and misunderstanding?
How do I get him to show me the love I deserve?
It's not possible. And that's not a question. Rather, ask yourself why you are with a person who does not show you that he loves you. Stop trying to convince someone to love you, prove to them that you are worthy of love and start loving yourself and someone who loves you.
