We have and will mention several times that love alone is not enough for a successful partnership. Respect. Communication. Patience. Understanding. Compromises. And accepting that there are always two people in a relationship, each with their own thinking!
We would like everything to happen spontaneously, but we mix spontaneity with impulsiveness, because when we are emotionally engaged, it is difficult to have patience - we want everything, right now.
That's why we make basic mistakes that could be avoided using these guidelines and turned into healthy and stable relationships.
Give yourself time to become someone you like
Invest in yourself, take care of yourself, explore yourself, be the person you like. Because when you love yourself, you are never bored. Then, you don't feel lonely and you don't need anyone to perfect you and you can attract the person you like. This is how the law of attraction works. So, would you choose yourself?
Allow arguments to occur in the relationship
By avoiding conflict and constantly giving in, you are not doing anything constructive. Suppressed feelings create a charge, you hide resentment and indignation and poison yourself and your relationship.
Give yourself time. Photo: Allef Vinicius / UnsplashIt's like walking side by side trying to keep up with each other. You can do this when you are coordinated and hold your partner's hand (and slow them down a bit so they don't take long steps) and when the path is wide enough for both of you. But sometimes you have to go along narrow paths where there is no room to walk side by side.
Conflicts are those moments of exploration where you can find a way to navigate such paths or to pave a path that works for both of you that neither of you would have chosen on your own.
You argue not to vent, but to find solutions and ways to work. Because, the key issue for resolving any conflict is not what you want or what your partner wants, but what the relationship requires of you.
Accept that you cannot change anyone
One of the reasons why there will often be conflict in a partnership is the fact that you are different people. If you're constantly disappointed because someone isn't what you think they should be, re-examine your feelings.
Maybe you don't love him enough. Love accepts the other person as he is, appreciates his virtues and tolerates his faults. If your partner wants to change, you have to support them, but you can't demand it.
Accept that romantic love is conditional
In a romantic relationship, unconditional love is the ideal, not the practice. If you love unconditionally and are in a position of only giving and not receiving enough or not at all, sooner or later you will feel hurt and rejected and you will want the love returned in the same way.
You two are a priority! Photo: Devon Divine/UnsplashWhen you understand the need for a balance between giving and receiving, you bring more respect into the relationship and become more careful. Two adults in the real world are far from romantic, but that's why they can agree on everything. Even if you have to fight first.
It's all good - as long as you can talk about it
Anything you can talk about, you can solve. Whatever the problem is, once you talk about it, try to solve it. Emphasize important and painful questions, do not remain silent, do not wait for the charge to accumulate and cloud your thinking. Two emotionally attached adults can talk about it.
Leave questions that are less important than your relationship
Your relationship should always be a priority. A relationship is the framework in which everything happens and from which you step out to face things outside of the relationship. Put the me before the me in the relationship and stick to it when the crisis hits. Because in a crisis, it shows who they are, or two different people or - the two of you.
