When you grow up, everyone tells you that you'll know right away when you meet the right person to be with forever. But that doesn't happen often. We all know that nothing in life, especially in love, is ever truly a straight path. But is there a way to actually tell if someone is the love of our life? The answer is yes, although most people don't realize it.
The person you have the most chemistry with is not the love of your life.
The person who tells you they are your soul mate is not the love of your life. The person who fits every point on your ideal partner list is not the love of your life. The person you have amazing sex with is not the love of your life. The person you've been dating for years is not the love of your life.
There is only one way to know that someone is truly the love of your life, and that is if they make you the best possible version of what you can be. This is what separates terrible relationships from great ones, because chemistry is usually not a true indicator.
It's not about who that person is, it's about what kind of person that person makes you.
The love of your life is the person you feel most comfortable with, who you feel you can be with, anywhere. It is someone who makes you feel loved for who you really are.
When you are loved on this level, you transform into the best possible version of yourself. This is what makes someone the love of your life and nothing less.
Chemistry is actually very easy to get. If this is your criterion, you will have a thousand soul mates in your lifetime. Many people are attractive at first glance and few actually have the capacity to love you for who you are.
The love of your life is not someone you invest all your time, energy and resources into. They don't become your life. They are the person who walks by your side, on separate but compatible paths, who inspires you and gives you a sense of freedom to do everything you've ever dreamed of, to be everything you've always wanted to be.
This is what really sets a soul mate apart from everyone else, instead of just investing in the relationship, you get to invest in yourself as well.
In a happy relationship, you have to face your unconscious beliefs and attachments, as well as your fears and assumptions. You must free yourself from what has been holding you back.
This is the purpose that relationships have in life. Not to distract you from who you could be, but to help you grow into all that you already are.
