Just because I let you go doesn't mean I stopped loving you

If I let you out of my mind, it doesn't mean that I stopped loving you, but that I decided to free myself from the shackles and nightmares of our past.

I wanted to give you my whole self, but everything got a little weird. I felt like I was expecting rain in the middle of the desert. I realized that I was wasting my time, energy and effort. Instead of waiting for you and hoping you'll come back, I decided to just let you go, forgive you - you and myself.

There's no point holding on to something I don't really have. And I have no guarantee that you will ever come back. I've been trapped for so long and it's time to focus on myself now. You deal with your life and I'll deal with mine. I need a happier and more peaceful life. I have to do this, not for you, but for myself.

Life with you was full of flaws and problems, but not only that. It was a combination of ups and downs, but never despair. It was an amazing and irresistible mess that I enjoyed and we created the most beautiful stories. It was a carousel ride that made me dizzy. An exciting journey that I would never get lost on and an adventure that I will miss.

But, it is what it is - the universe, fate - they intervened and there's nothing I can do to change what happened, happened.

If it's best for me to let you go, then I have to do it. I won't let you see me in my weakness. I must be fearless and strong in the face of my own fragility.

I will use this opportunity to grow, to make up for lost time, to discover new things, create new relationships, create new wonderful memories, especially with friends and family.

I want to achieve all the things, the moments in front of me, and become the woman I was before I met you. Strong, optimistic, happy, confident.

All the tears we cried and all the problems we faced were bridges to something more extravagant. I believe in that. All the stories we created, the desires we had for each other. All the goals and beautiful memories we collected, shared, were wonderful things that will always remain in our past. They are a part of us that no one can ever take away. I swear, they were all true, correct, and we were both true. We were a tandem.

But the present is different. It's just you and just me.

Deciding to put you out of my mind and put myself first doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving you. Because somewhere in the back of my mind you still have space, just as you have it somewhere in a hidden part of my heart. You left a mark on me that no one can replace.

I will always love you. I will love you in a way that I will accept you as the person who changed me, who inspired me to become a better person and to love myself even more. I will love you for the friendship and the moments we shared together. Because of the feelings you awakened in me and the fact that you were there for me when I needed you.

I will love you in such a way that I will still leave a tiny space for you in me - for you, if ever in 5, 10 or 20 years we stumble upon each other. And then I would be happy to hear your story over a cup of tea or coffee.

I wish you all the best for you and hope you have everything you've ever dreamed of. Because at the end of the day, you're still the person who once believed in me, trusted me, and loved me with all your heart, mind, and being.