"I love the power to force you to prove your love and loyalty to me and to foster my sense of superiority and illusion of power." - Your narcissist
They are around us all the time. We see them in the media, read their books, cheer for them, vote for them, marvel at their success, laugh at their jokes.
Perhaps they were the ones who helped us get up when we fell on our life's path. Maybe they gave us a hand when we were lost, made us laugh when we felt bad, listened to us, maybe they made us feel alive. They are our inspiration, our savior, our role model, our lover, our friend.
However, they can also be our worst nightmare. First they help us put ourselves together, but later they will use everything we have trusted them against us to destroy us.
And let them destroy us. We are told that we are immoral, untrustworthy, unreliable, incompetent, and on and on. They tell us all this to our faces. They feel it is their right. They lie to your face without hesitation and there is nothing we can do about it. In fact, lies are their truth. We believe them because they don't sound like they're lying.
If we stand up to them, they will question our common sense, our sanity. They feel entitled to it, because we entrusted them with our dreams and hopes. We can tell others about their behavior, but no one will believe us. Why? Because they still see a wonderful person in them. And what do they see us doing? They see us as an unstable person who cannot keep his emotions in balance. To the outside world, we are the ones who are weird.
We are disappointed in them. And they tell us that they are disappointed in us, because we are damaging their reputation. We are the ones who frustrate them and they lose control and rage because of us. But anger makes them feel full of themselves, lies make them feel complete.
Want to know the secret? Their life is nothing but an illusion. They have no idea what they are doing or why they are doing what they are doing. They don't want to talk about their behavior. They create their own facts and truth. They live by their illusions. Fortunately for them, other people seem to appreciate these qualities of theirs, allowing them to live in their world of illusion forever.
Narcissists know they are different but would never admit it. Herein lies the main cause of their enmity. They humiliate us because they envy us. They envy us because they are the ones who are different and it scares them. They are afraid of the fact, the thought that other people can function flawlessly without them in their lives. That is their worst fear – because of this, they never stop using their methods to lure people into lies and manipulation.
The 5 most common signs that someone is a narcissist
You can read here The 5 most common signs that someone is a narcissist. Keep in mind that such behavior must be frequent and intense in order to classify someone as a narcissist. We are all selfish here and there, vain and insensitive to others, but that does not mean we are narcissistic.
Expects others to put his/her needs first
Because narcissists are so self-obsessed and have very low empathy, which in practice means they simply don't know how to empathize with others, they expect the whole world to revolve around them. What does this mean in everyday life? They will expect constant adaptation from their loved ones, but they themselves will never give in and go against it. This can be very very destructive in the long run for someone who is in a close relationship with a narcissist.
They can't handle criticism
Narcissists react angrily, arrogantly, impulsively and very defensively to criticism. They cannot handle even gentle, constructive and reasoned criticism.
They are very competitive
People with narcissistic personality disorder are competitive in all areas. This is easier to understand if we know the actual structure of the narcissist's personality. In fact, narcissists have extremely low self-esteem, which poses such a threat to them that they "surrounded" it with an armor of a sense of multi-value as they grew up. When they are not at their best, it compromises this defense mechanism of theirs.
They often take advantage of others
True narcissists are dangerous to those around them. They see other people only as a goal to confirm their idea of how wonderful, powerful and wonderful they are.
They are always right
Just as narcissists can't stand defeat and criticism, they won't allow themselves to be wrong. They are often very good manipulators and can spin people who are emotionally involved with them around their finger for a long time so that the latter really think that they are to blame for the conflict and problems in their relationship.
