Sometimes it's just not meant for you, even though you wish otherwise....
I wonder if the conversation we never had could have made a difference? All signs point to no, but my heart can't stop thinking about you as I stare at my phone, hoping that your name will appear on it.
Would it really be so bad if I called you? Do you me?
The problem isn't you, it's that I've been romanticizing our dysfunctional relationship for so long. He was never healthy, because we did everything in our power not to enjoy each other's company, but to create problems where there were none. We lived in uncertainty and whenever our points of view did not agree, we argued or each of us went into silence.
We apologized, but only because we could hurt each other even more. We never set boundaries for each other, nor would we respect them. We didn't care about our hearts. You for mine. Me for yours. In a way, we were the perfect couple.
We really loved each other, but we never learned how to treat each other because we just got used to being who we were.
Our love was filled with intensity, but it was fragile, and the passion we shared was a display of our insecurities and pasts, not a nurturing love for the future.
It was only a matter of time before our toxic egos destroyed us. We became vindictive, we couldn't forgive each other anymore. We wanted to keep loving each other, but we couldn't get rid of our grudges and forget how many times we had hurt each other in the past.
I don't think she could ever forgive herself.
You drained me and my heart, I doubted my every step and intention. We tried our best as if it was a competition where we wanted to win, but in reality we were both losing.
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We talked about everything, but we were so focused on each other that we forgot what was really important in life.
We were addicted to our relationship and all the pain it brought us.
Now that I look back after all this time, I see that we were selfish.
I always loved you, but not you. I fell in love with the fictional version of you in my head, not the insensitive, cheating person you really were.
Could she be any more vulnerable? You told me about all the women you hurt - with a smile on your face. How could I be so blind?
You said I was special, but somehow I never believed you. We had so many chances to break up, to drift apart, but we kept coming back to each other again and again because no one else could handle this level of dysfunctional relationship. Nobody understood him.
We kept going back to each other because we never knew what a healthy relationship was, or because we enjoyed the chaos that was created between us. We enjoyed the madness. We thought we could never find someone better. How wrong we were!
We were so bad for each other because we were the worst versions of ourselves when we met.
We inflicted pain and sorrow on each other as if it was meant for us. We met only to realize how we can destroy each other.
We are a story that people would love to read but would never want to experience in their real life.
Now I finally understand that it was never meant for us.
