Narcissistic mothers are those who tend to exaggerate their achievements and do not hide that they are the center of their world.
Narcissism can affect the relationship between mother and child, as the child may feel neglected or neglected when narcissistic mother too busy with her own needs and goals.
Research has shown that children can have narcissistic mothers self-esteem problems and social adjustment, as well as psychological well-being. These children can also experience stress and anxiety, as they often have problems with responsiveness and an excessive sense of duty to their mother.
Besides, you can narcissistic mothers encourage in children unhealthy behavior patterns, such as manipulation, emotional blackmail, and excessive competition to gain her affection and attention. This can lead to the development of unhealthy relationships and bad habits that can last a lifetime.
Nevertheless, children of narcissistic mothers can also develop well if they have adequate support and an opportunity to develop healthy relationships and self-esteem. The key is to recognize patterns of behavior and try to build a healthy relationship with the mother and the environment to enable the child's personal growth and development.
If your mother was or is a narcissist, you may notice the following words:
1. He criticizes everything you do
"I don't like your boyfriend/girlfriend."
"Why are you doing this horrible job?"
"Your friends are weird."
"I don't know why your husband/wife puts up with you."
"You were never a good student."
Narcissistic mothers speak in ways that undermine all of your accomplishments. If there is one thing a narcissistic mother wants, this is it control over all aspects of your life. If he perceives that he cannot control you, he may criticize everything you do.
2. Creating guilt
"You'll be sorry when I'm gone."
"You never come to visit, I'm so lonely."
"I'll probably die alone."
"It's your fault that your father and I broke up."
"I would have a career if it weren't for you."
"When will you have children? I want to be a grandmother.”
Narcissistic mothers say things that can "stumble" you and they play the mercy card.
3. Failure to accept responsibility
"I never said that."
"You're too sensitive."
"What about you. Why are you like this?”
"Gaslighting" is a form of manipulation used by narcissists. They may say things that will confuse you and make you doubt yourself and your sanity.
4. Denying your emotions
"Why are you making such a drama out of everything?"
"I'm telling you this for your own good."
“Oh, get over it, it was nothing special.”
"What's the problem? Why are you having so much trouble?”
Often they may not understand your feelings or try to suppress.
5. Emotional blackmail
“I'm having a party and I need you to take care of the catering.”
“I booked a cruise and I don't have anyone else to go with me.”
"If you don't take me to the airport, I can't go on vacation."
"You must take care of my animals or I will miss the trip."
We all want to be kind and help our family members. But sometimes we just don't have time and can't devote ourselves to it. Everyone has the right to say "no" and their loved ones should understand it.
6. Lowering self-esteem
"I wish I had never been born."
"Even your brothers and sisters don't like you."
"No wonder you have no friends."
"No one will ever love you."
"You are a disgrace to the family."
One form of control is gradual reducing one's self-esteem.
7. He has his favorite children
"Your sister studies so well, it's a shame you didn't graduate."
"Did you hear that your cousin was accepted into a great company?"
"Isn't the news of your brother's engagement wonderful? When will you find someone?”
"You have such a strange figure, why can't you look more like your sister?"
"Your brother always takes me out to dinner when he's in town."
Narcissistic mothers like to say things that turn their children against each other. It's exciting because you can be the favorite one moment and the victim the next.
8. Competing with you
"Oh, I was much younger when I did those exams."
"Your hair is so messy, you probably got it from your father."
"My figure is better than yours."
"How are you dressed? You obviously have no style.”
Instead of encouragement, the narcissistic mother uses criticism, exalting herself and undermining the child's self-esteem.
It is important to realize that you are not to blame for your narcissistic parent's behavior and that you are not responsible for their happiness. Narcissistic parents they often have problems with empathy and understanding other people's emotions, so it is important to realize that your relationship with your parent is not about you personally, but about their own behavior and limitations.
When dealing with a narcissistic parent, it's important to hold your own healthy behavior patterns, such as respecting boundaries, setting boundaries, and seeking support from other people. It's also important to allow yourself time to process your emotions and not feel guilty if you want to build a healthy relationship with your parent or perhaps move away from them.
Professional help can be of great help in this process. A psychologist can help you develop strategies to better understand your relationship with your parent and help you cope with their behavior.
In the end, it's important to remember that you deserve a healthy and loving relationship, and that you don't deserve to be a victim of your parent's narcissistic behavior.
