At least once a day, every person finds himself in a situation where he does not know what to talk about with the interlocutor and in the desire to establish contact and extinguish the annoying silence, he starts asking questions that are at odds with his mind. It's time to stop doing that.
Bargaining is an important skill, which can benefit you in different situations, but people often confuse gossiping with rudeness ‒ they start asking questions that are inappropriate, they push the interlocutor into a corner and he isolates himself or becomes harsh. And of course you don't understand what it is all about.
Perhaps you have never thought about it, but just like the interlocutor, you do not ask, when was the last time he had sex, how does he use the toilet or how often does he shower, it is not wise for him to even pawn these five questions!
You might think so these questions are not disputed ‒ maybe not really when you are in the role of the questioner, but consider how you feel when others pledge them to you.
How long have you been together?
People like to talk about their relationships and the relationships of others. If your interlocutor he doesn't want to talk about his relationship, then there is no point in asking questions. It is particularly inappropriate to ask how long the person has been in the relationship ‒ such a question can start a fire between partners, because they may have a different view of them relationship.
When will you have a baby?
- Do you have children?
- Are you pregnant?
- Do you want a girl or a boy?
Imagine that a couple they cannot have children, and you ask them if they will have them. A situation where couples are in process artificial insemination, and you insist by asking if they are planning a child, you are probably no stranger to it. Consider that maybe the couple doesn't want to have children. Such a question may raise a dispute between partners because they have different views on parenting. Probably the most embarrassing situation is when you ask a woman if she is pregnant because you can see the belly, but it's not (indicating that she has gained weight).
Why do you need this?
Talk about hobbies and activities can be a good topic, but there are many questions, which you prefer not to hear. If a person likes to shop, it makes no sense, to tell her why she needs another piece of clothing. If a dog lover has several puppies and wants another one, it is absurd that you mention it's an 'expensive hobby'. The interlocutor can feel stupid.
How much does it cost?
In our society, the rule is, that it is not appropriate to ask the interlocutor how much he earns. Maybe the person has a high salary, knows that you have a low one, and it's up to them awkward to talk about numbers. Maybe he loves his job, earnings are miserable, but don't talk about it, because he does not want criticism and inappropriate comments. Questions related to money, there are too many personal.
Also pay attention to questions related to the price of a certain thing. If a person bought something, it is not appropriate to ask how much it cost. You may not have a bad one intentions, but your interlocutor may think that you want to assess his financial ability.
Will you have this forever?
People talk about things that are visible to them eyes, but they often ask questions such as:
- Was it painful?
- Is it real?
- Why do you have this?
People who have a special appearance (tattoos, hair color, make-up or dress, illness) usually do not want to talk about their appearance. To ask about it is not suitable for medical, beauty and other interventions. It is not appropriate to ask a person who goes to a solarium, or she attends because maybe she's pretending it's her natural complexion. Someone who has health problems does not want to listen to questions about whether he was in pain, how long he was going to have problems, why he was having them …
What to do if someone asks you a rude question?
- change the theme
- give a short answer
- resist and give them no answer
Very often it is enough that you are keep quiet and your interlocutor will understand that you are uncomfortable. If he insists, just say yes you don't want to talk about it. It's much better to be honest than not angry, irritable or nervous.
