Sometimes love exists more in your mind than in your heart. Maybe you want it so much that you make it up just so you can feel it.
It's easy to fall in love with the thought of someone, but that feeling is not love! It is attachment, projection and hope.
Let's look at some signs that your crush is just an imaginary reality.
You are more in love when you are apart
If your relationship is better when you are not together and your heart beats faster and your feelings are more romantic while you miss your loved one and exchange messages and video calls, you are facing the first, biggest sign that you are in love with the idea and not the a person.
This doesn't apply to long-distance couples, but to people who have no reason to break up, yet don't spend much time together or make room in each other's lives.
When they are together, they always fight
How much time can you spend together, in the same room, sharing everyday without arguing and getting angry with each other? No misunderstandings you can't overcome? After two, three, five days? You don't feel comfortable with the person you're with, their presence bothers you, and you actually can't wait to be alone.
Every couple fights and feels tense sometimes, but if this is the normal scenario of your days, weekends, vacations, trips together, then you are not compatible.
You wouldn't want to have this person as a friend
Even though he is your partner, you would never choose this person as your friend. You have romantic and intimate moments with him, but you don't feel as intimate with him as you would with a friend. When you want to talk about something and confide in someone, it's not your partner, you have other friends for that.
If you don't feel that the person you're in a relationship with is your true friend, if you don't have the confidence to confide your fears, hopes, and desires, then that's not love. It's not real, it's just an illusion.
There are huge differences in your values, priorities, plans
You just don't see yourself with this person in the future. You have goals that you have set for yourself and you intend to achieve them, but this person has some completely different goals or no goals at all. Don't believe that love will overcome these differences, not because it can't, but because it's not really love, because so many important moments separate you instead of bringing you together.
Compatibility is more than agreement, it's having enough similarities to last you a lifetime and bond you and help you maintain a relationship.
You are receiving mixed signals
You may have been told clearly that you have nothing to look forward to in the long run and that the other person wants a different life, but this has made you fight even more to prove how the power of love changes things. You are proving your strength and tenacity to yourself.
If you're confused about whether someone wants to be with you, then the answer is, they don't.
In fact, mixed signals are the same as a clear signal that someone does not want to commit and that your combativeness and stubborn belief in feelings that are only passion, but not true love, have no basis.
