If the only prayer you say in your entire life is thank you, that will be enough. - Eckhart Tolle
Expressing gratitude in the right way can strengthen your relationship as a partner. Let's see the study in which they determined the best way to show gratitude to your partner. How to tell them with actions "Thank you".
Through analysis, psychologists have found that the best way to express gratitude is to accurately describe how responsive your partner has been to your needs.
Example:"I would never have made it to the meeting on time if you hadn't dropped me off in front of the office today," is a response that expresses thanks. More than an expression "thank you" communicates how much someone is valued and included in the partner's goals, the more positively the benefactor perceives gratitude.”
While emphasizing the extent of the partner's sacrifice: “I know you took a lot of trouble driving me to my office during rush hour;” not such an effective form of praise.
"These findings are consistent with the idea that the giving and receiving of favors between partners is based on responsiveness to each other's needs," the authors state.
"This means that benefactors are satisfied when they learn that what they did met their partner's needs because their behavior was motivated by concern for their partner's well-being."
Among the 111 participants in the study, who were in a relationship for an average of 4 and a half years, are researchers compared two different expressions of gratitude. One reported how responsive the partner was to their needs, and the other reported how much the act of kindness cost the partner.
The participants first filled out an online questionnaire and had 3 conversations, which were recorded. At the end, they were given a minute to say something nice or kind their partner had done for them that made them feel especially grateful.
When leaving, they were given the task that every evening; two weeks they complete a short survey that will reflect their sacrifices or compromises they made that day and their perception of the gratitude they received.
In the end, both parts of the study showed similar results.
“Of course, our results do not show that cost recognition has no value; but that this is still a better alternative than not expressing gratitude at all." the authors explain.
The length of the relationship may also play a role. The authors note that if the relationship is relatively new or just beginning, cost recognition may be better.
"Perhaps when norms and expectations in relationships have not yet been defined and concerns about being taken advantage of are more obvious. There may be some benefits if we explicitly acknowledge the efforts,” think the authors.
