"A heart is destined to be broken." - Elizabeth Gilbert
In fact, love does not break the heart, love heals and forgives. Selfishness, stupidity, fear, as well as unrealistic expectations and unrequited feelings break the heart.
At the beginning of the relationship, you cannot know if and in what way your partner will hurt you, what are his weaknesses, what are his fears and stupidities, when and why he will prove to be selfish and disinterested. You cannot know if he will have you as much as you love him, you can only take a risk and give him a chance.
But there are some signs from the very beginning that you will definitely get hurt if you give in to your feelings and let this person become the most important thing to you.
Too much closeness in a short amount of time
The feeling that you have known someone for a hundred years, even though you are just getting to know them, is characteristic of being in love and is not realistic. During the period of love, you show your most beautiful face and it is not difficult, because you are inspired, enraptured and enchanted. Everything is wonderful and you feel a strong sense of belonging and intimacy.
The relationship hasn't even started yet, but you've been together the whole time and you're confiding in him things that even those closest to you may not know. And that person also tells you sentences that start with "I haven't told anyone this before, you're the first person I'm going to tell this to." Feel like you are in heaven. You feel that you could do anything for this person, and you are sure that he/she is also ready to do anything for you.
But sooner or later something small will happen. This person will forget an agreement or prove to be selfish. It might show up in a way you'd never expect. And still, despite many disappointments, you continue to strive and try to accept this person for who they are. You will not give up because you have given her your heart and you are trying to get the best out of this relationship.
After some time (in a year or in seven, eight months) you will look back and wonder how you got to where you are in the first place. And is it stupid to leave now, and if not, how much time will you lose before you actually do.
You catch her in inconsistency
It expresses attitudes and beliefs that you like and agree with, but does not put them into practice at all. He claims something, but does it differently. Who knows what he really means. Is this person just lazy and irresponsible or is he really duplicitous and hypocritical or is he mentally unstable and has serious problems with himself? You may not be able to figure this out and you may not even be able to ask her because you don't know how she will react.
It seems to you that you do not know this person at all, that you do not know what you are doing with him and what you can expect from him. There are days when she's cold and distant and you wonder if she even has feelings for you, if she's already cheating on you, and where your relationship is at.
If you decide to look for answers and don't raise your hands until you know her motives, instabilities and fears, until you're in a position to forgive her betrayal and tolerate neglect, until you feel you've understood everything and until you convince yourself that there is nothing nourishing and supportive about your relationship, you will discover all the ways it can break your heart.
Your body is sending you signals
Physical intelligence can be faster and more effective than mental and emotional intelligence, as the body reacts on an organic and energetic level and registers what is not good for you. If you feel anxious in her presence, you feel suffocated in your chest and there is a lump in your throat, maybe you feel some undefined charge and you can't relax and calm down, your body wants to tell you that you need to escape and that it is ready to turn and he leaves. It will do so as soon as you give it this command.
Your body perceives a sense of threat in this relationship, which you continue to rationalize and refuse to face.
