Sexuality is fluid and it's important for people to define it for themselves, experts say, pointing out that in addition to the dominant sexual orientation, heterosexual, there are many fringe and lesser-known groups.
Defining your own sexuality is important because it is a unique personal experience. While defining yourself can help you better understand your orientation and build relationships, it's important not to label others. Be open, listen to them and respect them as a human being.
Sexuality can thus be an important part of your identity. It can encompass almost every aspect of your being, including your actions, attitudes, behaviors and feelings. It can affect the way you experience sexual attraction and can change your preferences for sex and romantic relationships, according to Big Think.
Why is sexuality thought of as a spectrum?
In this context, the spectrum is a tool that, among other things, can help us better understand the fluidity of sexuality. Kinsey scale, perhaps one of the most famous sexuality scales, was created in 1948 by Alfred Kinsey, founder of the Kinsey Institute.
The scale allows people at zero to define themselves as exclusively heterosexual, and people at the opposite end (six) as exclusively homosexual – reporting varying degrees of attraction or sexual activity to either gender on a scale of 1 to 5. There is also an X category for those who report no sexual interactions or relationships.
This scale was the first of its kind on sexuality perception and was really the starting point for where we are today.
1 | Mostly heterosexual, only casually homosexual
2 | Mostly straight, but more than casually gay
3 | Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 | Predominantly homosexual, but more than casually heterosexual
5 | Mostly homosexual, only occasionally heterosexual
6 | Exclusively homosexual
X | No socio-sexual contact or reactions
Modern sexuality and "labels"
Over time, people became more aware of the gender spectrum, and positioning anywhere along the spectrum became more and more normalized. It's safe to say that we've learned a lot since the 1940s when the Kinsey scale was first created.
Sexuality is fluid, ever-changing and extremely personal – it's how we define our sexuality that matters, but in no way should we stick these labels on others.
With an ever-widening spectrum, we as humans have a responsibility to adapt and expand the language we use to describe our own (and others') sexual desires. These 'labels' can help us understand each other better, but they are by no means set in stone.
Determining lesser-known directions along the spectrum
"A lot of people don't want to believe that there are escalations of these issues from one extreme to the other," is a quote from Kinsey's 1953 work Sexual Behavior in the Human Female.
We can say that we have come a long way from the 1950s to today. Sexuality and sexual orientation began to be talked about more, accepted and even respected. There are still many places in the world where people are punished for simply existing as they are and loving who they love, but the best we can do as a society is to adapt and evolve with the spectrum.
In the spirit of adaptation and growth, here's a breakdown of some lesser-known trends on the sexuality spectrum.
Autosexual and/or autoromantic
Autosexuality is the idea of being sexually attracted to yourself, of being in a romantic relationship with yourself.
Autosexuality can mean that you are obsessed with your own appearance, that you are passionate about spending time with yourself rather than with a significant other, and/or that you are self-indulgent in the idea of yourself.
Sex and relationship expert Jess O'Reilly says we all have "shades of autosexuality". Although autosexuality is often used as a synonym for narcissism, Dr. O'Reilly believes the opposite: “It's a basic erotic feeling that you have to take into account when having sex, and for many of us it means feeling 'sexy'. Maybe you have an external source that transmits this desire, or maybe it's within yourself."
Demisexuality (vs. graysexuals and asexuals)
Being demisexual means experience sexual attraction in very specific situations, most often with people with whom you are emotionally connected.
Someone who identifies as demisexual can usually only experience and thrive in sexual attraction once an emotional connection is made. This relationship does not necessarily have to be interpreted as love, but it can be friendship (even platonic friendship) that allows the person to feel sexual or romantic attraction. While many people choose to have sex only with people they feel connected to, demisexuals don't choose that way, they need that connection to even begin to feel sexually attractive.
Being emotionally connected to someone doesn't mean that people who identify as demisexual will develop a sexual attraction to that person—just like heterosexual men are attracted to women but don't find every woman they meet attractive.
On the other hand greysexuals were often considered a "grey area" between asexuals (a term that describes the absence of sexual attraction to others and does not enjoy sex) and allosexuals (he does not feel attraction, but in contrast to an asexual he can enjoy sexuality).
People who identify as graysexual do not identify exclusively with asexual or allosexual. They experience sexual attraction or desire on some level, but perhaps not with the same intensity as people on either end of the asexual-allosexual line.
Pansexuals, pomosexuals, spectrosexuals
The term pansexual describes persons who experience sexual, romantic and/or emotional attraction to any person, regardless of that person's gender or sexual orientation.
Pomosexual is more of a concept than an identity. It is used to describe individuals who they reject the labels of sexuality or simply do not identify with any of them.
Spectrasexuality is a term used to describe people who are able to feel romantic or physical attraction/emotional connection with people of multiple or different sexual orientations and genders, but not necessarily with all (or with any of them).
These terms often overlap, but it is important to note the differences. Pansexuality is by far the most commonly used word in the group and is more focused on the fact that a person with this orientation doesn't see a label and instead sees a person, so they can have romantic and sexual relationships with anyone, regardless of their orientation.
On the other hand, people who define themselves as spectrosexual may be attracted to several different sexual orientations, but still have certain desires.
