Step out of your comfort zone and look at your partner relationship. What do you see?
When we are in toxic relationships, we never actually know they are toxic. All these situations, arguments and emotional blackmail seem completely normal to us. It is only when we step away from this relationship that we see the bigger picture. And this one is not pretty at all. Let's take a look at this picture, which should bring back memories, awaken emotions, evoke nostalgia. We look at it from afar from a safe shelter and realize that it is not worth preserving and that it awakens in us nothing but disgust. Then we feel freedom inside. We wonder how it is possible that we didn't realize what we were getting ourselves into before.
Let's look at the list toxic habits, which can help us to prevent this from happening again!
Expecting your partner to fix what someone else broke
Emotional wounds don't just come from ex-partners, they can be from childhood or self-inflicted. How many times have you told your partner that he doesn't give you enough attention when you need him the most, that he doesn't show enough sympathy when you're having a bad day? And not only are you blaming him, but at the same time you are creating a dissatisfaction within yourself that does not go away easily. You are unsatisfied, nervous, and at that moment you again seek the support of your partner - a vicious circle.
It is important to learn that you are responsible for both your happiness and your sadness. You cannot expect other people to shoulder this burden. It's okay to seek emotional support, not to impose an emotional obligation on someone. No one is obliged to make you happy if you are not capable of it yourself.
You see your partner as your other half
Life is not a novel. It took you days and years to become who you are: a man who cares about himself, who picks himself up when he falls, who is not a rug for others. The one who is still selfless despite everything. A man who is capable, smart, successful, yet down to earth. After falling in love, how can you say that you weren't whole before, that someone made you up?
That's not good. Such an attitude can lead to you being completely dependent on your partner in the relationship. And if you leave it, are you really no longer perfect? You are because your partner is not your other half but your companion.
You think that strife is a characteristic of passion
It didn't. Life is not an opera. They don't keep their word that the louder the tone, the greater the love. Nor is it true that soothing sex justifies fighting. The passion that comes from conflict is deeply rooted in problems such as immaturity, communication problems, and sometimes even sadism.
You don't rebrand arguments that cause real problems as temper tantrums. If you feel more and more anger, frustration, restlessness, tension in a relationship, it is simply no longer worthy of your love. If you are too different, sometimes love is not enough. And sometimes it just isn't love.
You believe in soul mates
Ana and Matej may be soul mates because they are part of a novel someone wrote, but in real life such a belief brings disharmony into relationships. That doesn't mean you won't find someone who will be perfect for you, or who will love you more than you imagined. It just means that no one should be compared to the myth of soul mates. Souls are found, not born.
