"Women love as much as they can, and men as much as they want." - Gefraut
From the visibly wounded who break your heart with their suffering and awaken in you a motherly instinct to take care of them, to the obvious adventurers who you fall in love with because everything is so easy and exciting with them. What are the signs of a man who is not suitable for marriage and with whom you have nothing to look if you are looking for a stable relationship that develops and lasts?
Help me until I'm ready
He needs you like the air he breathes. Actually, it doesn't need you exactly because any oxygen bottle will do. In fact, he does not see you at all, you are an orthopedic device, a service for his problems, which are numerous, intractable and worrying.
A man who needs help is rooted in his insecurities. And it is a solid strong root, although you feel that the slightest wind will uproot it and blow it away. It is not so much tough as it is tough and extends deep. It spreads into countless veins connected in the darkness of the inner netherworld to other countless veins.
He constantly needs the gentle touch of a woman's hand, sympathy and comfort in all areas of life. You will give him money, take his mother to the doctor, hold his hand and try to make his life easier and better in every way.
Until he resists because you are too motherly, because you want more than what he is capable of giving you. And, because you are so obnoxious in your efforts to make a man out of him. You're insulting him, isn't he a man? Did you not love him and accept him as he is? Why are you forcing him to change? Why are you controlling it? He can't take it anymore. He just wants to be left alone. Amazing, isn't it? What's even more amazing is how many times you've fallen into the same trap.
I tell you what you want to hear
This is a cunning man who awakened in a woman the need to believe in promises (it was not difficult) and is very generous and generous when it comes to promises. He will deceive you for years, he will discuss the future with you. They will plan trips together that they will never go on. The wedding you will never organize. Together they will choose names for the children they will never have.
As long as the magical effect of his voice continues to tell you that he wants, agrees, rejoices, can't wait, and of course wants the same as you do, you will wait for one of his works to justify his generous declarations - to fulfill a promise.
You can be stubborn and wait for years and become sarcastic, bitter and angry. You can give him an ultimatum and set deadlines, but all that will do is make him disappear - with promises to call you tomorrow.
I have so much work to do
You are never his first priority, and you have to understand that, you have to wait in line. He's in debt and he needs to pay the money back before he starts planning anything with you because these are serious things. He doesn't want to start a family until he's on his own. He just has to finish the house, only the interior work remains, and of course you can't rent an apartment, because he won't give up on fixing the house, because it's your future home, be patient (two hundred more years).
Now is not the moment until he consolidates his position at work, and you are also here to support him in his ambitions and career building. And now is far from the right moment, because everything is completely unstable and he will very likely lose his job.
His excuses are very convincing and reasonable, and when he begins to crush your hopes and desires with logic, you feel like a spoiled woman who is just looking for something and can't wait and wait for his turn. Because he wants to give you everything you deserve, just not now, someday, never or don't you understand?
Relax and enjoy, you only live once
This is a good message. But he adheres to this principle at 17, as well as at 37 and 57. Where are you in a hurry? He has all the time in the world and life is so interesting and there is so much to experience before he commits and settles into a routine, and of course all these things become boring to him.
Everything is exciting, easy and possible with it. He is quick, he makes a decision one moment and acts the next. It will move to another place as easily and effortlessly as you change your hair color. Every job he does is in the moment and he doesn't know where the road will lead him.
And he's always ready to go. He knows a lot of interesting people, and wherever he goes, he brings with him an atmosphere of excitement and action. He is endlessly charming and never stays in one place so long that one would think he is a parasite, who with his spirit and cheerfulness gets hospitality, help and support whenever he needs it.
Women love him and try to follow him, but they can't, because he always leaves all traces behind and runs away. Also, when he leaves you, he explains that he is not ready to commit forever until he has a bunch of interesting plans (which he will talk about with a twinkle in his eye and a sad smile on his lips). You can't hate him because he so obviously believes what he's saying.
The truth is you've bored him because sooner or later he gets tired of everything - he's here temporarily and tries to have as much fun as possible along the way, that's his lifestyle.
