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Photo: Samantha Gades / Unsplash

We're all doing it wrong: 5 mistakes we make when starting a new relationship

Love deeply, but not blindly!

Starting a new relationship fills you with excitement and hope. You want to believe that this relationship is one that will last forever. You are convinced that you have made the right decision this time and that the right person is by your side. But the excitement often makes you blind and you don't see the possible signs that are destructive to the relationship.

Don't waste your precious time and instead increase your chances of making the relationship last. How? Don't make these 5 mistakes.

Don't let the euphoric feelings of a new relationship cloud your judgment

The excitement of a new relationship prevents you from seeing the signs that lead to the demise of the relationship. Maybe you fell completely in love with your partner and now you don't care about everything around you. But sooner or later you will get to know and identify the differences between the two of you. Whether you see them then or not depends on how in love you are. Do you think with your brain or your heart. Look inside him, watch his behavior, don't just look him in the eye. Discover the faults that bother you and find out if they are the kind that would cause you to end the relationship.

Think with your brain and not just your heart.
Think with your brain and not just your heart.

They do not discuss core values and long-term goals

If you don't talk about them when you're in the beginning of a relationship, it can lead to a relationship breakdown later on. Your core values are what carry you through life. If they do not harmonize with their partner, they can be a source of conflict. It is very difficult to be in a relationship in which the partners have different values. For example, you are thinking of having a child within a few years, a partner in 5 years; it can end your relationship. Talk to each other, this will save you a lot of misunderstandings.

They don't talk about finances

This should not be discussed at the beginning of the relationship, but it can help you avoid many surprises and disappointments. Partners should be aware of each other's debts and assets before proceeding into a serious relationship. There is nothing wrong with helping each other, but you should talk about it and understand all the consequences.

You don't know why his previous relationship ended

When a relationship ends, you are filled with negative feelings towards your ex-partner. You often blame this for the failure of the relationship. But you need to understand, and so does your partner, why one or the other failed in the previous relationship before you jump into a new relationship, because it is possible that you will make exactly the same mistakes. It's like trying the same diet over and over again that never works. The truth is, if you don't recognize harmful patterns, you transfer them into a new relationship that won't last until you recognize and resolve and change them. Don't rewrite history, create a new one!

Why did your last relationship end?
Why did your last relationship end?

You have too high expectations

You often enter a new relationship with the expectation that your partner will fit into the story you've created for them, for you. And when he doesn't, try to manipulate him into behaving according to your expectations. This may work for a short time. Over time, a person emerges as they really are. Let her be who she is, because that way you'll quickly find out if you like her or not.

Don't paint it in the colors you want it to be. Let him show his true colors. It's worth it! This way you will know whether you even want such a person around you or not. Why settle for green when you like yellow.

When entering a new relationship, keep your brain in your head and not in the clouds.

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