Many people believe that opposites attract, but more and more research is showing the opposite! We are actually attracted to people who are more like us.
One study analyzed about a thousand couples and found that the partners had strong similarities in all personality traits - openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, pleasure and emotional instability. A very high percentage of similarity was also found in values, recreational activities and attitudes.
For example, many couples share the same views on gay marriage, abortion, the importance of religion, and the role of government in the lives of citizens. The highest level of relationship satisfaction is expressed by couples who are most similar in terms of personality traits.
You probably know some couples who have different personality traits, interests, opinions. Are such couples attracted by their differences, or are they similar in some ways? Experts say - both.
It's natural to look for a partner with whom you have a lot in common. Humans long for relationship, and one of the ways we seek it is to seek out people who have had similar experiences to us, as this automatically establishes a certain level of emotional trust and makes communication easier.
We subconsciously seek intimacy within certain frameworks, so we often find that our partners have similar characteristics to our parents. But from a biological perspective, when pheromones come into play, physiology forces us to seek out someone who is different from us. It is an evolutionary trait that allows our It enriches DNA with diversity and reduces the chance of disease during reproduction.
Do opposites really attract? Photo: Victoria Priessnitz/UnsplashHaving a partner who looks like you can be comforting when you are facing life's challenges. Intimate relationships are fulfilling, but they also require risk and vulnerability. You will go through different experiences together, you will have to make sacrifices and make compromises, which can be very challenging, but it is less intimidating if you and your partner share the same personality traits, beliefs, morals and values.
Making decisions together is easier if you come in contact with similar expectations. Shared values are a good indicator of long-term success precisely because they relate to the way you make decisions.
The relationship is built, maintained and upgraded. When looking for a long-term relationship, consider everything – emotional, intellectual, spiritual, physical, sexual, political and financial aspects, all of which are compatible.
It all depends on personal preferences, on what is most important to you.
Differences in core values and beliefs can lead to greater problems and conflicts in relationships. They can be exacerbated if there are cultural differences that may not become apparent until the children arrive. How to raise them, what religion to accept, what gender roles you think they should or shouldn't accept.
So focus on five main qualities that are non-negotiable when looking for a long-term partner, namely, family in the near future, intelligence and willingness to learn and progress, passion for what you are passionate about, curiosity and open-mindedness, generosity (in giving time, energy, emotions, attention).
But beyond the necessary similarities differences provide the necessary balance. That's why we strive to find partners who have mastered the skills we admire but don't have ourselves. For example, if you are shy and reserved, you may be attracted to a charismatic, relaxed, sociable person. If you are disorganized and constantly late, you may like someone who is punctual and tidy; if you are distrustful and cautious, you may be attracted to someone who is spontaneous and risk-averse, who encourages you to do new things.
Support each other through good and bad. Photo: Victoria Volkova / UnsplashDominant partners report a high level of satisfaction with a more submissive partner, extroverts sometimes feel very satisfied with introverts - often complementary personality attributes support intimacy, but complementarity is not the same as opposite.
Relationship goal it is common growth, development, healing. This means that many people are attracted to partners who will facilitate their growth by forcing them to step out of their comfort zone.
It's good to have a partner who encourages you to be a stronger and better version of yourself.
You and your partner may differ in lifestyle and routine, as well as personality traits, which can help you grow in those areas where you are weak. However, sharing core values is key to ensuring a lasting relationship.
Summary of Brankica Milošević's record
