"Butterflies in the stomach" are today considered a classic symptom of infatuation and love. However, many in long-term relationships are very disappointed when these butterflies disappear.
This prompted one Tumblr user to describe what her relationship looks like after five years. In his message he perfectly describes, how life together changes love.
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It's been 5 years since I've been in a relationship. Every day I see posts on social media about how being in a relationship with the man of your life means having constant butterflies in your stomach.
Many people believe that love is only real if your heart beats faster every time that person walks into the room, that you cuddle each other every night, spend time intertwined in bed, and fall asleep in each other's arms.
I can tell you that is not the case at all. At least not for me...
As soon as they start living together, the butterflies disappear. Your heart no longer skips a beat every time you see him. Instead, everything calms down. When you are in the same room with him, you feel calm and safe.
When you snuggle with this person, your heart beats slowly and the sound of their breathing comforts and lulls you to sleep. You are no longer on the merry-go-round of feelings, you are at home.
No more hugging and entwined limbs. Instead, sleep comfortably next to each other, very often with your backs to each other. Still, every night you find yourself reaching for his hand or stroking his hair as he sleeps.
There are nights when my sleeping boyfriend reaches into my side of the bed through dreams or simply pulls me to him like a child would pull a stuffed toy. I am his comfort, security and peace then.
At dawn, when the world is still dark and sleepy, I nestle into his chest and inhale his scent before drifting back into sleep.
Kisses are no longer as passionate and romantic as they used to be. There are more of them now. These are cold ice cream kisses, sticky jam kisses. There are also "I'm going to work" kisses and "just one more kiss to go" kisses.
There are sleepy morning kisses that wake me up better than any alarm. Is there a better way to start the day?
There are also goodnight kisses, kisses that say "I'm glad I love you and no one else" or "How wonderful you are with animals". There are also short kisses in the supermarket. When it's crowded and loud around you, you lean towards each other, you search for each other, you find each other.
You no longer send messages declaring or affirming your love every hour. Love is now self-evident.
From romantic outbursts of love, they have now progressed to inside jokes related to living together. In public, they exchange looks of surprise, resentment, enthusiasm - they have their own little world.
A relationship is not a fairy tale. Not fireworks and fanfare. Well, at least it stops being after it starts.
Instead, the relationship is a quiet rhythm of love and care. There is not a fire burning in your soul, but a flame that warms you as you sink comfortably into sleep.
And I love that.
