Feeling a little lost in the dating game? You are not the only one.
When it comes to dating, there are those who make it seem like they don't care and others who openly show their vulnerability. But what is the right way? There is no right answer. It all depends on what you want and how you feel, as well as the stage of the relationship you are in.
There are a few things that can help you decide which path to take.
1. Inaccessibility
The sad thing is that this method really works (but only if that person is already attached to you). Why does it work? It creates mystery, it creates interest, it is exciting. In the person's head it says: "I'm desirable and you have to work hard for my attention."
There is something addictive about hunting because you go after what you want or there is a "reward" at the end. Although the excitement is addictive, fun, it doesn't last long. After the excitement phase, people either realize their true feelings or lose interest when they get what they want.
Many people make the mistake of continuing this state of inaccessibility even after deeper feelings have developed between the two people. This is what can lead to a toxic relationship where the partners never stop conditioning each other for attention and affection.
In other words, being unavailable may be a fun way of flirting for someone at the beginning of a relationship, but over time it comes across as quite immature.
2. Love and the importance of authenticity
If you want true love and a long-term relationship, be honest. It's that simple. If you like someone, tell them. If you want his attention, find a way to show it.
Directness and honesty ensure a healthy relationship. That doesn't mean you should go around expressing your love for someone you barely know. It just means that if you're honest about how you feel, you're closer to a genuine relationship. You have nothing to lose because if they don't care about you or like you, at least you won't be wondering "what if...".
Think about what you want. Someone who plays with your feelings or someone who has genuine feelings for you? Do you want someone who keeps their emotions inside to make themselves look cooler or someone who communicates with confidence and maturity?
Listen to yourself, listen to your intuition. Don't give in to societal pressures. The most important thing is to never feel bad about expressing your feelings to someone, even if they don't respond the way you want them to.
Vulnerability is not wrong. She is not weak, she is not something to be ashamed of. Ultimately, this is what makes a person attractive. You are who you are, not a made-up version of someone who wants attention.
If you want to play, get ready to play. If you want love, get ready for something real.
