Cheating is a painful thing that a person can experience in his life. The one who has been deceived often changes his perception of the world and relationships in general - he may become less trusting, and he often looks for the causes of his unhappiness on unproductive grounds. Healing a broken heart takes time, especially if it's a betrayal. Unfortunately, you can't force the process to speed up, but there are some steps you can take to help you start over after being scammed.
If you have ever been cheated on in your life, you know how difficult it is to deal with the mountain of negative emotions, anxiety, low self-esteem, distrust and self-doubt. Because we want to help you, we've put together ways to start over after you've been scammed. We hope they will help you at least a little!
It's not your fault.
Every coin has two sides and this is even more true in relationships. However, it is never your fault that someone cheated on you. You cannot control other people's decisions and actions. You can influence them to some extent, but ultimately the person decides how to act.
Understand what happened.
Whether you decide to stay with your partner who had an affair (which is fine, but it's important for you to resolve the crisis) or to leave - either way, it's important to try to understand the bigger picture that led to to cheating. There are many different types of cheating – emotional, sexual, or a combination of both, and there are even more different contexts in which they occur. Once you understand the bigger picture, it will be easier for you to move on with your life.
Don't deny your feelings.
A cheated on partner is faced with a whole bunch of emotions that just don't seem to end. The initial anger is usually followed by a strong feeling of mistrust, which turns into sadness, which sometimes turns into apathy. The emotions that a cheated on partner feels are strong, varied and usually quite long-lasting. Don't deny your feelings, but face them. Cry, scream, write a journal, go boxing, talk... that's the only way to heal your wounds.
Try to forgive.
The last step is probably the most difficult and cannot be forced. Of course, it is not even necessary, and in many cases it is impossible to forgive the deception. However, in many cases, cheating is complex and often it is more about meeting needs than purposefully and mindlessly inflicting pain on your partner. Forgiveness can bring you many beneficial effects on your psychological well-being, but be patient with yourself, because the road to get there is quite long.
