The new coronavirus pandemic has made many of us a bit timid or nervous around other people. Why is this so and how to restore social ties?
Maybe you too feel socially "rusty" and strangely frightened by a crowd of people that is bigger than the one in your living room? If you're feeling uneasy about the reopening of society, you're far from alone. According to scientists, there are good reasons why some of us feel like cave creatures grotesquely coming to light.
Why do you feel so antisocial and awkward around other people right now?
Recent article of the Greater Good Science Center delves into the psychology of antisocial feelings that the pandemic has caused some of us. Loneliness, points out author Kira M. Newman, should encourage us to reach out to others, a "According to research, we actually withdraw, start to feel unworthy of our relationships, worried that people are judging us or not enjoying our company."
Similarly, depression drains our energy, making us less likely to do things like exercise and socialize that can make us less depressed. Besides, after a year of sitting on couches, many of us simply we have nothing more to talk about (except for covid, which honestly gives us a headache). In other cases, a year of being trapped with our families 24/7 forces us to we long for solitude.
Last but not least, it is a problem with toxic positivity or the pressure that forces us to hum an optimism we don't really feel. “It's exhausting to constantly act like we're happy and full of hope, but we don't really feel it. But if we only share complaints, pessimism and sadness with others, we may worry that we are a burden to others." notes Newman.
Photo: Arthur Brognoli/Unsplash
How to facilitate re-entry into socialization?
For all of these reasons, it's perfectly normal for us to feel lonely and disconnected, but also to feel anxious when we actually have the chance to see real, live people. How can we ease the way back to socialization?
1. Before you actually enter the outside world and lively social situations, imagine how it will feel to allow your mind and body to prepare for them.
2. Start with small steps. If you've been very lonely, a walk to the grocery store around the corner is a good place to start. Step by step you build your exposure in the outside world.
3. Find a "partner". This is always a good way to overcome social anxiety and now more than ever you may need the support of a trusted friend.
4. Get out into nature. Nature is a phenomenal anxiety killer and offers the added benefit of reacquainting ourselves with the outside world in a relatively “uncluttered” way.
5. Show your vulnerability. When someone asks you "How are you?" you don't have to guide him through every dark corner of your emotions, but be honest nonetheless. You may find that you are less alone in your problems than you think.
6. Focus on others. If your attention is focused on what the other person is saying and how you can help them relax, you are less likely to make missteps.
7. Lower your standards. Right now, nobody really expects perfection (in fact, that's always a dangerous standard).
8. Get help if you need it. The impact of the pandemic varies from person to person. If you really struggle with it, don't compare yourself to others, but seek professional help.
Perhaps the most important piece of eternally good advice is: be kind to yourself. Feeling tense and antisocial is completely understandable given what we've been through. If you need some time to get back into society, that's totally fine.
