It's hard to forgive, because all that requires forgiveness is something that has hurt us deeply, making us feel cheated and betrayed. Perhaps the most difficult thing is to forgive cheating on a partner, infidelity, because this kind of betrayal causes us to start doubting ourselves. Not only does it make our world come crashing down, it makes us feel like everything we've built in the relationship is fake. How to forgive and when you can really forgive! You will feel exactly that!
These are the things that make it difficult for us to forgive, because in the end it's not about whether we can get over something that our partner regrets, but about how we can move on with ourselves. The process of forgiveness is a long one, and you can forgive the deception only when you feel that your partner has made a decision in himself not to hurt you anymore. Let's see why forgiveness is so very difficult and what we have to go through if we are hurt by a loved one!
The same questions will run through your mind endlessly.
How could someone who loves you sleep with someone else? Why did he do that? Then how could he pretend everything was fine and continue sleeping with you? Curiosity and anger will alternately flow through your mind, and no matter how many times you ask him about it, you won't be able to understand it.
He did something that didn't matter to him with someone that didn't matter to him, risking everything that mattered to him.
Why did he even tell you? Why couldn't he handle it like a man and protect you from the consequences of his actions? Did he not know that his conscience would gnaw at him? Did he not realize that by performing casual and dangerous sexual relations, he put his health and yours at risk? If I were you, would I even think about whether I could forgive you, or would I simply leave you in horror?
Was it in any way your fault?
Another question that will haunt you and to which you will not find a real and satisfactory answer, no matter how hard you try. Have you denied him something that he cannot do without and that he was looking for elsewhere? If so, does that mean he has to give something up to be faithful? Do you need to give him something you don't know and can't do to earn his loyalty? What did you do wrong that he retaliated against you in such a way?
You will always be accompanied by the feeling that you are not enough for him.
If he did it for something he was missing - even if it was just the feeling of excitement at the fact that he was with someone new and unknown, sooner or later he would want to get what he was missing again.
Trust is lost in a second, but it takes a long time to regain it.
The moment you found out that your partner is cheating on you, you lost the trust you had in him, in the stability of your relationship, in love. This devastating realization shook your very being.
How to restore the trust that your partner destroyed? Trusting someone is a decision, but forgiveness is a long and painful process. Because of this bad experience, you will never be sure that it won't happen again. Will you be able to live with this uncertainty?
You will never forget this pain.
The symptoms of a broken heart are similar to surviving a heart attack and recovery is similar. You will never forget that feeling when something pierced your heart and remained pierced, while your consciousness still resisted and tried to rationalize the realization.
The hardest thing about forgiveness is to get over your negative feelings and believe again that anything is possible between you. You will understand this when he decides inside himself that he wants to be with you forever!
