External achievements will certainly not bring you lasting happiness and meaning in life.
We live in a culture that values success above all by external criteria. Today's society worships unrealistic standards of beauty, the most valued value is the fact that we are always busy with something, and it seems that we are always trying to earn more money to buy more and more beautiful things. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being ambitious - but too often we equate these external achievements with experiencing happiness.
Psychologists thus coined the term "hedonic adjustment". The term refers to a very common phenomenon when people quickly get used to external changes, whether good or bad, and after the turbulence and euphoria of positive or negative emotions, they return to their the starting state of happiness. Psychologist dr. Heidi Halvorson says it is "one of the studies proved that those who win the lottery are no happier after 18 months than those who did not win the main prize". The same tendency to return to one's starting state of happiness has shown itself for couples getting married, or for voluntary job changes, including job promotions – that is, with events that we are sure will make us happy and that should make us feel better permanently. Indeed, we have all already achieved the level of apparent happiness that we set for ourselves, and we have achieved the set external goals...but soon we wanted to achieve new, even higher goals, and we raised our expectations and criteria for evaluating success even more.
Bronnie Ware, who works in the field of palliative care, in a famous article titled The Five Biggest Regrets of the Dying listed the following as the universal regrets of people on their deathbeds:
1. "To live my life according to my wishes, and not the way others expected me to be."
2. "So that I wouldn't have to work so hard."
3. "To have the courage to express my feelings."
4. "To keep in touch with my friends."
5. "To allow myself to be happier."
None of the things the dying regret it is not related to external achievements, such as having a six-pack, earning more money, having more followers on your social profile, driving a better car, getting an award for..., being promoted to... – vulnerability, a balanced life, true friendships and authenticity.
Too often we are captives of achieving external measures of success - so often that we forget what really matters. We live with the idea that we have unlimited time, but in reality we only live for the present moment.
Be grateful for everything you have, allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people who mean a lot to you, be kind without expectations, and don't be afraid to be the real, authentic YOU. These are goals we should all strive for. Stop for a moment, go deep inside and admit to yourself what really means the most to you.
