Marriage is the union of two people with different backgrounds, lifestyles and expectations. There will be different opinions in it, one way or another, but it depends only on you whether they will lead to an argument, misunderstanding, mistrust...
If you don't know your fellow traveler well enough, it may happen that you expect many things from him that he cannot fulfill. But you see a fairy tale in front of you and in it someone who will save you.
Unrealistic expectations are one of the main reasons for divorce. Let's look at some of them.
1. It will always be nice for us
You expect him to always be fun and interesting. But this is simply not possible. There will be times when you will be fine and float above the clouds. But life is not a fairy tale and there will be moments when everything will not be as you wanted, and that it will also be boring - at times.
2. We will always be happy
Most likely they won't. Both you and your partner have different views on the world and on certain things in life. And always this view will not match. It's true, sometimes there will be tears and you'll be in a bad mood, but you'll still be happy most of the time if you communicate.
3. Everything will be better with marriage
No, getting married doesn't change people. Your partner, your partner is still the same person with all the faults and flaws that she had before her. You might just meet another one of them.
4. He will understand me without words
It's not true, you will still need to talk, say how you feel and what you want.
5. We will always be in love, like the first day
No, you won't always be holding hands and your spouse won't be looking you in the eye all the time and professing their love for you. Life together is much more than when passion disappears, values are important - respect, trust...
Love is more than just being in love. Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels6. We will never fight
Really? Up until now they have, but now they won't anymore? Everyone has their own opinion, which may differ from yours. Arguments and long pointless discussions are a waste of time. Learn to compromise.
7. We will always agree on everything
Of course there will be disagreements. They will blame each other for different things. They won't always get along. Emotions can run wild and there will be fights. Don't push the argument under the rug, talk and clear up the differences as soon as possible.
8. Everything will be as it was
If you think that your life will not change and that you will be able to live the way you were before marriage, you are wrong. Unless they were already living in an extramarital relationship before her. If you want to be a good marriage partner, you also have to give up a lot of things. New responsibilities, new values will come. You will also have to give up some habit.
9. I will always be his priority
That won't happen. He loves his mother and father, just like you love your parents.
10. He will give me the love I've been missing
Don't expect it to replace the love you never received from your father or mother. If you didn't receive love from your parents in early childhood, don't expect it from your husband/wife. Don't turn into an emotional vampire who seeks and demands love only for himself.
Marriage is a compromise of love. Accept each other with all imperfections and never stop talking and turning arguments into a better relationship.
