For many, meeting the parents is a clear sign that the relationship is going in a serious direction. Few people introduce their parents to all their partners, and it usually takes a while for a couple to go to their first family lunch together. No matter how much he manages to convince you that his parents are great people, are you still nervous? How will the potential mother-in-law and father-in-law react, will they like you, what will you talk about. Are you afraid of uncomfortable silence, strange looks and wondering what to wear?
His parents should not be your enemies, but new important people in your life. So smile, be yourself and approach them with respect. Spontaneity is a virtue in this case. Here are some tips to make your first meeting easier.
Be present
Before any important event - and for many people getting to know each other is an important event - people like each other let's put together a script in the head. Maybe that's why you're thinking about how his mom might greet you and what she should say at what moment. Don't stress about it. We assume that your partner has told you something about his parents, and that's why you're not just going into the unknown. With this basic information everything will be easier for you. Whether they adhere to traditional values, what kind of attitude they have, what they do, whether their parents are talkative - all this will help you know how to approach them. There is simply no universal formula. It is important that you are actually who you are during this gathering, and not to contribute to an unpleasant atmosphere. The most important thing is to be present - show interest in their stories and listen to them.
Offer to help
Although you will probably be told to sit down and rest, everyone is grateful if someone offers to help him. It's a matter of etiquette. They will be grateful if you help prepare lunch or clean up offered your help. There is no room for ego and arrogance in such matters, but empathy must be shown. Also - once you get to know each other, try to keep in touch as much as possible - call sometimes and ask how they are, what they're doing and keep in touch.
Don't see them as enemies
Leave stories about future evil mothers-in-law on the side. If you convince yourself that the meeting is terrible and that you are afraid of them, then it will be. Treat them like you would any other person you want to have a relationship with. Understanding, empathy and a calm tone they will help you build a solid, if not great, relationship. Of course, if his parents are ready for it. Mother-in-law and father-in-law should not be seen as competing or fighting for their affection.
If the future mother-in-law is afraid, she needs to know for her son that it is not you the destroyer of their family, so frequent communication and small signs of attention are desirable here, and certainly encourage the partner to talk to the parents.
There is no room for proof
My future mother-in-law and I are not the same age, and it is very likely that they will meet in some differed on things. Accept her and her faults and virtues and meet halfway in differences. Constructive criticism is of course welcome, but be careful what kind of way are you criticizing, avoid aggressive arguments about certain topics. Just because his parents do or think differently than you doesn't mean they're automatically wrong and you're right, so embrace those potential differences.
Accept advice, but set boundaries
Don't think you have nothing to learn from them. they say that wisdom comes with age and any family anecdote, life story or advice can help you become a better person. His parents could leave an important mark on you with their knowledge and experience. Your relationship with them could be great, but it's important to set boundaries and understand, that everyone has the right to their privacy and choice.
