Manipulators want to make you feel negative. They play with your emotions. Any provocation is manipulative, because someone is trying to suppress your emotions, encourage impulsiveness and malaise.
Provocation can be overt or covert. Open is an obvious challenge to the other person, an invitation to do something they don't want. On the other hand, covert provocation involves setting conditions, testing a person and his psychological capabilities, covert manipulation of emotions and feelings.
Why do people provoke?
This is usually because they want to put you in a negative light, they want you to do something wrong, to make them look bad in the eyes of others and to make you feel bad about yourself. It can also be for the reason that they distract from other things, but also for the sheer fun of playing with other people's emotions.
Here are some of the most common types of provocations used by manipulators:
1. Encouraging disappointment
Who are you anyway? You're like everyone else. I believed that you would be better / more successful.
2. Encouragement to do something without thinking
Send a message now. Do it now or…
3. Threatening relationships with others
Do you know what she said about you? He deserves to stop talking to him/her.
4. Promoting the feeling that they are better than you
If I were you now, I would... You amaze me, I would do everything better.
5. Playing with emotions
If you do this, I will change. You're making fun of me.
6. Fostering doubts
You got it all wrong. It's not exactly what you claim. Trust me, I know what's better for you.
How to recognize manipulation?
- strong emotional intensity,
- some sort of immediate reaction is expected or even required of you,
- you are uncomfortable in the situation, you do not have enough information to observe a wider, objective picture of reality.
When faced with a provocation, it is best not to react immediately. Consider all the circumstances, keep calm. Develop analytical thinking, look at least one step ahead.
