Love can be the most beautiful thing in the world, but it is not always perfect. It changes in both directions. In happiness and pain. Are you ready for the challenges of love and the merry-go-round of feelings in relationships? To lessons?
Most valuable lessons never show up in flowery love poetry, but in life's challenges. Realistic expectations are key to nurturing a relationship that can survive life's ups and downs. Every relationship, even a good one, is associated with challenges and learning.
Before life teaches you, read some facts about relationships that can only be learned the hard way.
1. Fall in love with ideas, not people.
Really getting to know someone is something that happens in stages and takes years. You first fall in love and commit to a person long before that process is over. You don't really know them well then.
Your mind fills in your thoughts based on past experiences and other assumptions you think you already know about this person and about love.
2. People want relationships for selfish reasons.
Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated and understood a little more. Unless you're a narcissist, it's unlikely that you're always selfish and looking to take advantage of someone else.
Your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship are the essence of anticipation, i.e. what do you think this relationship will bring to your life. You assume that your happiness and the other person's happiness will be one and the same thing.
3. Love is not a guarantee that you won't get hurt.
There is no such person who is so good, decent and honest that even in his heart he would not want to hurt you at least a little in a moment of anger. No one is that perfect, even the person who is more or less perfect for you.
But when someone is really important to you, you find a way to forgive them and give them another chance. And when you're the one hurting them, do your best to be responsible and make amends.
4. Sometimes your heart will be open and sometimes it will be closed.
You won't be madly in love with your partner all the time. In fact, there will be times when you'll be mad at him and want to leave him, and they'll feel the same way about you at times. Half the time it won't be their fault or yours.
Feelings pass - all feelings, good and bad. Indifferent times do not mean that you no longer love each other or that you are no longer suitable for each other. It's just life.
5. It is impossible to experience love without also experiencing fear.
Loving someone means opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. It means that you are afraid of losing them - if not through a breakup, then someday with death. Fear doesn't always look like fear. Sometimes it is feelings of discomfort due to irritation, anger, restlessness and other things. Fear never goes away.
6. Love is important, but it is not enough to make a relationship successful.
In fact, it's not even close. Although romantics believe that love conquers all. It is not possible for one person to have enough love to replace the love of a partner whose heart has grown cold.
Love is an essential part of the recipe for a good relationship, but it is not the only one. You also need respect, honesty, genuine compatibility, trust, communication and plenty of other things. These are the things that will keep you together in hard times.
7. Never wait for tomorrow, say it, do it - today
Don't wait to say the things that need to be said or to make your relationships the way you want them to be. You think you have all the time in the world, but you don't. One day it will be gone, and you have no idea. Love – today!
