Just what could it be?
Tara Blair Ball, life coach and author reveals how your body language can affect your love life more than clothes, humor or money!
“When Dave and I first met, I could immediately tell why he was having trouble dating, and no, it wasn't his looks. The problem was actually his body language. He skated when he entered. He slowly squeezed my hand. As soon as he sat down across from me, his shoulders and head slumped inward, his chin resting on a propped fist.
During our initial chat, I found him to be intelligent, funny, passionate, and enjoying his work as a lawyer. I also noticed that he rarely looked me in the eye, mostly looking around the room.
"When do you feel most confident?" I ask him.
"In the courtroom," he told me.
"But what does it look like when you are confident? Do you do anything different with your body to show that?”
I watched him as he adjusted his body in a different position on the chair. He looked much better. I nodded. "Exactly! That's exactly what you're missing! "
Dave didn't get on with dating, they didn't get along well. He was afraid. He didn't feel confident anymore, so he didn't look confident either. On the other hand, he knew what to expect in the courtroom and that he was great at what he did.
After a few weeks of cooperation, I noticed a drastic change in his behavior and demeanor. Soon after, he started dating the woman he is married to today.”
Body language can affect your love life more than you think. This is something you can consciously change. Here are 7 ways men can improve their body language and therefore their attractiveness!
1. Straighten your back
Your mom, teachers, or whoever told you to have good posture, they were right. Sitting or standing up makes you zoom lung capacity and allow more oxygen to reach your brain. Correct posture can actually help you think more clearly while feeling calmer.
In this way, you will be judged as more attractive, it states research. In it, blood was taken from a group of men who followed the rule. They had a 20 percent increase in testosterone and a 25 percent decrease in cortisol, a hormone that contributes to stress.
2. Pull your shoulders down and back
When your shoulders drop forward, it appears as if you want to protect yourself and try to move your body into the fetal position. Also, avoid bringing your shoulders up too close to your ears. When your shoulders are high, it looks like you are uncomfortable. To maintain the appearance of calmness, pay attention to where your shoulders are and purposefully keep them down and back. There is also something here stretching exercises, which can help you if you feel stressed.
3. Keep your chest open
Although this happens naturally when you straighten your back and keep your shoulders down and back, be careful not to lock your torso. Do not cross your arms in front of your chest or hold a drink or phone in front of your chest. It will appear that you are closed.
4. Make sure your hands are visible
If we can't see people's hands, we have trust issues. To avoid this, at the first meeting, do not keep your hands in your pockets, leave them under the table or put them in front of you.
5. Lean back
Some teachers warn students by whispering. If the class is loud, instead of raising their voices, they will lower their voices until they are whispering. The children stop talking so they can listen to her. This allows them to achieve what they want without having to shout.
The same can be true if you lean back or away from the person you're dating. If she is attracted to you or interested in what you have to say, she will lean towards you or move closer to you. This gives you a position of control. Plus, it helps you keep your chest open and look calm and collected.
6. Firmly shake your hand
Is it OK to barely touch her hand with your fingertips? No. Or shaking hands until he says, “Ouch!”? No. Look the woman in the eye, take her hand firmly (but don't squeeze it) and allow her to let go first, withdraw her hand.
7. Adjust your gait
Dave skated while he walked. It looked like he hadn't even lifted his feet off the ground. It made him look lazy, which he wasn't. There are also men who walk with such short steps that it looks as if time is running on their fingers. Use the entire length of your legs. Take a walk. Act like you're walking with a purpose.
While Dave didn't feel confident dating, he knew how he wanted to feel and gained a lot of strength from doing so. Over time, his "fake self-confidence" grew into real self-confidence, because he felt better, more comfortable in his own skin.
So adjust your body and your thinking!
