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"We don't have sex with mine anymore." When should you worry?

In relationships, love usually comes first, then marriage, then a few years of rich sex life, and then slowly the situation starts to calm down. The amount of sex is drastically reduced or even zero. More and more couples these days find themselves in a relationship where sex is suddenly no longer present. You lie next to each other and ask yourself, is this normal?

There are many relationships in the world where sex is simply not present, but these still work and the partners are happy. If this describes your relationship, there is no reason to worry. Sex is not always necessary for a successful relationship, if both partners are satisfied with the drought. The problem arises when the partners do not have the same opinion about the relationship without sex, which can lead to serious problems. It is therefore crucial that you and your partner talk about why you are not having sex and how you feel about it, and express your desires and frustrations.

What is "normal"?

Let's face it, we live in a culture where we want to get what we want immediately. Love, sex, hard-working and successful children, a good job and an eternally young and sculpted body. Society convinces us that other people have all of the above and that everyone is hopping like rabbits, but nothing goes our way. But think for a moment. The basic purpose of sexual relations is reproduction, which is intended for the young, and over the years it is replaced by other activities. That's why it is not unusual for some people to lose interest in sex over time.

Couples who seek help for a lack of sex life believe that they want to be more active, but in reality, most of them simply want to because they think it's normal and that it should be so. So if your relationship lacks sex, does it really bother you that much or do you just think you should? To your relief, yes lack of sex is not necessarily the actual problem in your relationship, because it can be something completely normal. Some people just have low libido, and although they want to change him, it is difficult to force him to do something that is not natural to him.

When is a dry spell "normal"?
When is a dry period "normal"?
If there is a drought in your relationship, you can fall into one of the following three categories, depending on which you can determine whether or not you have an actual problem.

1. You both want your sex life to flourish again

If you and your partner both want to make sex a part of your relationship again, a therapist can help you with this. They must realize that the awakening of passion after a long period of stagnation it's not easy, but it's doable. You can start by making sex a hobby and deliberately making time for it. The flame can re-ignite very quickly or take longer. The main thing is that you both have patience and the same goals.

2. Only one of you misses sex

Regardless of your view on a sexless relationship, it's important to be aware of your partner's as well. Is the partner satisfied with this and does not mind, or is it tormenting him and is already thinking about divorce? Talk about it with your partner you must talk, before it's too late. If you find that you are both happy with the drought, there is no reason to worry. But if you find that only one of you is happy with the lack of sex, some decisions need to be made. Try it meet halfway or the one who misses sex has to decide whether the relationship is worth this lack or not.

3. Neither of you mind not having sex anymore

If the lack of sex isn't a problem for either of you, there's no need to worry about it. You can only find out what the situation is again by talking to your partner talk honestly. After all, no one marries someone just for sex. You and your partner can be happy and love each other regardless of bed activities. The only important thing is that neither of you is bothered by the situation and yes they still love each other and find time for intimacy. Although without sex.

To find out if sex is a real problem in your relationship, you need to have an honest conversation.
To find out if sex is a real problem in your relationship, you need to have an honest conversation.

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