Many people will tell you that putting yourself first is selfish. Perhaps you are among those who even believe that this is true. Or you are on the other side and simply despise the opinion of others and think only of yourself. Which is even more selfish...
It is important that occasionally you give priority to your own desires and goals, because otherwise it will be difficult for you to function and grow as a person. Look at it this way – if you want to contribute to the world and be helpful to others, you must first be the best you. If you are unhappy and strive to make others happy, never taking the time to focus on your own goals and desires, then you will suffer. Remember that it's okay to be you every moment you take some time for yourself. Take a break and focus on your own needs. What is your body and your mind telling you? Sometimes we need to block out the outside world for a while and listen to your inner self.
If you live a full, creative life, you are happy and satisfied, you can grow and develop. This way you can help others do the same. There is nothing selfish about trying to be the best version of yourself, being as kind and compassionate to yourself as you are to others. Be responsible, but also take time for yourself and don't let others take over or dictate your life.
Renowned American psychologist Lisa Firestone outlined four important steps to help you achieve a balance that will help you put yourself first without guilt (source: psychologytoday.com):
1. Learn to say NO.
The people who are a part of your life have learned that you will always be there for them. There is nothing wrong with that, as being a generous and compassionate person is wonderful. But on the other hand, (self)sacrifice by saying yes to things that drain your time and energy is not good for you. Remember this simple guideline: Everyone has the right to ask you for anything, including you you have the same right to say "no", without giving a reason. Saying no when you have to, without guilt or discomfort, is a key building block of self-help.
2. Ask for help.
As an emotionally neglected child, you internalized the message from your parents: “You don't have feelings, you don't show feelings, you don't need anyone.” If it's hard for you to say "no" to others, it's probably just as hard to ask them for help or favors. To break free from this difficult bond, you just need to accept the fact that other people don't feel uncomfortable saying "no" and that it's not difficult to ask them for help. As soon as you can join them, a new world will open up for you.
3. Discover what you like and what you don't like.
If you were emotionally neglected as a child, you may have trouble getting to know yourself, perhaps because your needs weren't often addressed and you weren't invited to express your wishes. As a result, you may have certain areas in which you are well versed and others in which you are confused. If you have spent most of your life focused on the outside, you may not be able to identify what you like and what you don't like (such as which people, food, music, clothing style, hobbies,..). It's important to know what you like and what you don't, so take the time to write them down.
4. Prioritize your pleasures.
Growing up, you may not have been able to make choices that brought you pleasure. In order to prioritize your own satisfaction, you need to say no to demands that take you too far from satisfaction. Sometimes you need to ask for help so that you feel enough support and connection with others to feel comfortable and do something enjoyable, like watch a movie or go for a walk. But you definitely need to know what you like in order to find it. Think about what you would like to do and then ask someone to join you in doing it. If you have more pleasures and connections with people in your life, you will become a happier person.
Putting yourself first is not selfish. It actually is healthy, loving and caring. Treat yourself to exercise in nature, read books, learn new languages, meditate, enjoy good food and company... You deserve it. Let it be your well-being always comes first and Fruital First always at hand. Fructal First are functional drinks with added vitamins and minerals that have a positive effect on the mind and body. Vitality, Detox, Antistress and Focus drinks combine a trendy combination of flavors with functional additives that help you feel better and restore balance in your body, while also containing few calories.
