"Divorce spices up true love, but poisons false love." - Persian wisdom
"My husband simply moved out and left me alone to tell our children and family, friends, that we are divorcing." She felt as if her world had collapsed. But over time she learned and found out a lot about herself and her life.
What lessons did women learn after divorce?
1. Life becomes easier after divorce
There will be moments when you will be scared and without hope. You may have the feeling that this sadness will last forever. Believe me, it won't. After the divorce, you are full of hope, because there are still many beautiful, different, perfect things ahead of you. You are grateful for this opportunity and a different life. You can finally be alone and realize what you actually want from life. Basically, divorce is a new chapter in life, when step by step you become a completely different person. Of course, you can lose yourself for a moment, only to find yourself again and understand that your marriage was toxic.
2. Your children's lives improve
Before the divorce, she was constantly worried and wondered if her children would be okay if she wasn't around them all the time. But it turned out that these worries were unfounded. Now she could watch them grow and become stronger—alone. They have become braver and know how to take responsibility. A "new normal" reality has happened.
3. You know that crying is not weakness
"It was our first Christmas Eve after the divorce. We decorated the Christmas tree with the children. We cried. At one point we hugged, talked about our true feelings and set new traditions.” Crying doesn't make you weak. It's a normal thing. You have to accept your own feelings. Do not hide from the children, let them understand that their mother is not a computer, that she has feelings.
4. It is difficult to let go of guilt from yourself and from life
Life will never be the same again. The plans they had for the future were blown away. After the divorce, you feel relaxed, but it is still difficult to let go of the guilt. Stop blaming yourself. Release positive energy. We women are capable of the impossible. Believe in it. Leave the past in the past.
5. Don't picture the perfect relationship in your mind
"After the divorce and some therapy, I realized that my marriage was not what I believed it to be. Everything was perfect. We talked about buying a house, getting married, having children. I was living the deal, not my life. I forgot about myself. Our divorce was very painful and toxic." Be realistic, don't close your eyes, because you can fall on the harsh ground of reality.
6. Don't wait for better times
Waiting and hoping is not enough. Don't waste your life, just get rid of the bad ones. Don't wait until a year or two has passed since the divorce to allow yourself to live. Live now. Let go of the past and away from you.
7. Choose solitude, not loneliness
Learn to enjoy yourself. It is not easy to adapt to a new life, but there is a good medicine for loneliness called solitude. Start working on yourself. Ask yourself why you feel lonely without another person. It is important that you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. When you know how to live with yourself and love yourself, you will be able to truly live your new life.
