It often happens that we are attracted to a man who is already involved in another story. It happens that we are in a relationship that has no clear definition, no clear shape, no path, we only know that something exists, that something is, and that basically everything hangs in the air.
He is either married or extremely dedicated to his career or lives very far away or is a mama's boy or a womanizer. In a way, you have it, but you don't.
You know this isn't going anywhere. And yet you are too attached to him to let him go.
If this is your story, in which you recognized yourself, then first of all know one thing - not everything depends on you. There's nothing wrong with you. You wonder if he loves you or if they are just something he doesn't want or have right now. You hope. However, this is a mistake. Why? Because only you want it.
Is this your story? Photo: Yoann Boyer/UnsplashBecause if your relationship were to become something real and tangible that requires immediate care, work, attention and acceptance - he doesn't want that. He wants dreams or memories. In fact, you have what it takes to make him love you.
Except for one thing, that you are his eternal challenge. And the one thing you don't have is vital to him.
You can attract him and you can please him. He can enjoy himself with you. He's having fun. But he doesn't love you like he loves something he doesn't have! He will give you everything except love. They do not have what is crucial to a relationship, mutual love.
You want him to love you and you want him to love you back. But he is inaccessible, foreign, a lone wolf or a careerist.
You stubbornly want what you can't have, just like him. You actually love him for it. They have the same diagnosis.
He is afraid to love. Photo: Marwan Abdalah / UnsplashAdmit it to yourself. Both live the delusion that they want what they want - drowning. It is mission impossible to move anything into the future. And while you dream, life goes by.
If you want to live love, you have to give up a good deal of fantasy, dreams and memories and live it in its true light, which has all the colors in it, from the pink of heaven to the black of hell. This is something that many people fear. They fear that fearful grandeur and fullness of true love, which is not only sweet and tender, but sometimes bitter.
And that's why they fall into fantasies that are just illusions, but at least they don't require effort and work. And this is the reason why you persist in relationships with unavailable men.
You are afraid to love. Photo: Thought Catalog / UnsplashAlthough on a conscious level it seems that you want love and he does not, you are actually running from the same thing, just from different sides. He through the resistance of the present, and you through utopia. Because if you really wanted love, you would turn to someone who gives it to you and build it in reality.
Love is alive and real. And until one day you decide you've had enough of the deception. Until you decide to close the door to illusions, loneliness, half-heartedness or a bad relationship, and open it to the true love that may have been close all along, you won't, you won't notice.
